the one place

Food I Can Never Forget.

2011-12-25T15:27:00.000+08:00

I love you so much. I first tasted this at Ben's. I was wonderstrucked at the taste of this heavenly dessert :))

This is one of the Halawiyyat. It's called Kunafah. I first had a bite of this precious food in a place called Habibah Sweet and it's awesome :))

I didn't remember what it was called, but I know it was made mostly from milk. So, I googled for halal food in Beijing with milk, and this came out! I was lucky, this is it! It's called Fried Milk, I just can't get it off of my mind even after five years!

Haha, as we all know, this is Avocado Juice or best known as, Jus Alpukat. I think the first I had this was in Bali. The next trip to Indonesia, I tried looking for it but to no luck. On my third trip, I had this on every meal! But yesterday, I found it in Malaysia, sold in a Indonesian restaurant near my home. Oh well.

I love this little cute chocolate. I always find it hard to eat it, because I can't bear to bite off the cute little frog :( *sighss.

Favourite Chapter in My 2011 Book

2011-12-25T14:12:00.002+08:00

What had happened is something I will cherish for the rest of my life. I do not regret it. Though, I had been through tremendous amount of pain and misery, but I will NEVER regret what had happened. In fact, I think it was a blessing in disguise. Had this not happened, I wouldn't have found the people I now love and truly care about. I wouldn't have found the ones I know who would always have my back. Who would always stand up for me.

Now, I wouldn't have to worry about who's gonna save my seat if I came late for assembly. I now know that there will always be a seat saved for me. Now, I wouldn't have to worry about who will want to seat next to me in class. I now know that we will always want each other's company. Now I wouldn't be starving at night because I forgot to have dinner. I now know that they will always remind me to have dinner.

I love you guys more than ever. I can never be thankful enough to Allah for blessing me with such great friends. Friends who can understand me. Friends who will never make fun of my fondness for pink. Friends who would not undermine my obsession of sewing. Friends who would gladly accept my repulsion towards green vegetables and most fruits served at DM with the exception of bananas and oranges. Most of all, friends who are so nice to me, and never say mean things to me.

When it happened, they have always been my pillars of strength. It's something I don't understand myself. I can't quite comprehend why is it that when I was feeling so down, I hanged around with them, and the pain's gone. Now I understand what friendship is really about. I understand what it's like to really have friends. I know I'm a little bit slow, but I got it this time!

Anyway, what happened is something that will always be one of my most treasured memories. But I will be reminiscing them with a smile on my face :)

School!

2011-12-25T13:44:00.001+08:00

My main priority is of course, SPM.

Addmaths will be my number one victim, followed by Arabic and Physics. I'm gonna kill you, one by one! Insyaallah. I have to kill you because if I don't you'll kill me. So, let's just see how it goes, shall we?

My second priority is my debate team.

I'm gonna have to handle this by myself, I'm the only senior left in the team o.o But personally, I don't think seniority is the main issue here. I mean, c'mon, my juniors are only like less than a year, younger than me. So, we should do this together! We're gonna do just fine. Syasya, Nabil, Nadia.

My third priority is the school.

Yeah, being the second in charge means I'm gonna be, busy,busy,busy. Hey, look on the brightside. I should be thankful to Allah that I have the opportunity to serve the school. I want to change the WORLD! That reminds me of what Mahatma Gandhi once said, be the change you wish to see ;)

So, my fourth priority is myself. I have to be the change I want to see. So, I have to CHANGE. I think it seems like I have a LOT to CHANGE. Lol. I will get back on myself later.

The fifth priority is my house.

I'm in the red house, Helium! I'm gonna do the best I can for our house! I know they think of us as failures, losers maybe, but we have proven to them that we're freaking fantastic as well :DD Let's try again next year!

My sixth priority is my batch.

I know what happened has been the cause of the wreck, and I am also aware that I played a role in causing this damage. So, I will do my best next year, to seal the hole and save this sinking ship that could kill the spirit of each and everyone of us. No matter what happened, I will always love each and everyone of my Zealousians. And I mean it. Each and everyone.

My seventh priority is my family and my precious people :)

They're actually my first, but I love the number SEVEN more than ONE. So, I figured if I place them at seven, I would make them a super priority. Even higher than a main priority!

Precious People :)

2011-12-25T13:09:00.000+08:00

Syifaa.

My favourite cousin ever! Plus, my crime partner ;) A brilliant writer, and a genius! Luckily, you're not a nerd. She's so matured that I sometimes think she's the elder cousin, not me. I love you so much and I can't wait for you to come back to Malaysia! I know you don't want to get your hopes up, because I might not be around next year, considering that I'm staying in a boarding school what with the SPM thingy, but we can surely make arrangements ;)

Pipa.

I love you like a love song, baby. I'm so thankful to Allah for sending her to this school! I adore her so much. She's so nice and funny. Not to mention, very pretty :) I learned a lot from her. A lot. I love talking to her, especially on the phone. Our greatest record was 3 hours and 42 minutes. The bills? Oh,screw the bills!

Aida.

AidaAina! I love you, sweetheart :) She's always around. I mean, literally. Lol. She's almost always in my dorm, that people started to call her SY15! Thank you for keeping me company! I think what happened is a blessing in disguise. I love you,manager! ;)

Mila.

I love you CACING! She's from Kelantan so she has weird way of calling things, like how she used to say 'jendela' instead of 'tingkap' and how she used to asked the DM for a 'sayap ayam'. Lol! No matter what, I will always love you and ala ;)

*i didn't post pictures because some of them won't want me to do so ;)

Because I watch TV,

2011-12-21T14:47:00.000+08:00

I think I have a crush on this guy. I know he's like, engaged or married or who-knows-what-they're-into with 'the' Yuna, but who cares?

Quaint

2011-12-07T15:53:00.000+08:00

I may be old-fashioned, but I love gadgets :)

I Love Addmaths

2011-12-07T15:49:00.000+08:00

I'm taking add maths lessons. My teacher's kinda cool :) He taught me the logic behind add maths, though some sounds insane and illogical, but that'd do. For now. In the near future, I'd do my very best, to really get the concept behind all those freaking numbers and delta symbols I can't draw.

I really like having someone who can really answer the questions I throw in. Rater unexpectedly. And sometimes I hear him sighs. Oh dear.

Contented

2011-12-01T15:00:00.004+08:00

Who I am and who I am trying to be is like, night and day. Black and white. Which is black and which is white, well that's for me to keep. I don't even know why I am who I am when I have all the things I would ever wish for.

I have everything I want, but I don't feel what happy people feel.

Maybe I like what I'm feeling, for I couldn't imagine my life without these darkness. I am content with my life, and I thank Allah for that :)) I am just not happy.

Or maybe I am fated not to have the advantage of having solace.

Or maybe I choose not to savour the things I have.

Or maybe I have all the wrong things.

Strangers

2011-12-01T14:44:00.001+08:00

I don't know you,
but I watch you,
All I know is,
that I want you.

Homer, I like

2011-11-30T22:41:00.000+08:00

Why,thank you,Homer. That was really nice of you :)

The lemon that turns sweet :)

2011-11-30T22:15:00.003+08:00

The path I walk,
Nothing unambiguous,
Nothing unbeknownst,
The people I know is the ones I have known,
Like Johnny, whom I was born alongside.

We were friends of sadness,
Of tears of joy,
We loved each other,
Need not no toy,
So we both planted trees that one fine day,
I, the yearned apple progeny,
and Johnny, the rotten lemon.

As time flew by,
Johnny's lemon grew apples,
He set the whole world astounded,
To see such pageant.

That was the time when,
All men went on envying Johnny,
and all women craved for Johnny,
My Johnny.

It was a time when
His sour turned sweet,
And his candle began to lit.
Effacing all shadows of me.

It was also a time when
I watched with tears of envy,
As I sat, silent,
Neath my fruitless apple tree.

My Johnny and I,
We loved each other,
But he left me standing,
Outside his gardens of apples.

Reality check

2011-11-30T21:30:00.000+08:00

I have problems distinguishing my dreams from reality.

Chances are, my dreams are too real or the reality is too good :)

Touch the Rainbow

2011-11-30T21:16:00.003+08:00

I wish I have the Skittles touch. I envy Skittles. They're so full of colours :(

Adam Young

2011-11-30T21:05:00.000+08:00

If this guy exist in my size, I would've given up all the vacations I've ever been to just to get to know him :))

I Wanna Break Free!!

2011-10-29T23:59:00.001+08:00

I have a new objective of life now. I know what and who I'm going to be, at least for now. In short, I have painted a clear, no, more than clear, Vincci's kind of clear picture of what and how I'm going to operate. And it's a lot worse from who I was before, but it's gonna make me happier. So, the options are a.to suppress all forms of happiness and satisfy the needs of people or b.to make you happy and hurts everybody else. In the older days, when I was a masochistic, depressed human being waiting to for their heads to be chopped off by the guillotine, as if it still exists, I would have chosen a. However, now that I'm an evil and horrible being whose selfish agenda is to please himself and no one else, I chose b.

I have like tons of action plans where I have build in my head,in the past few minutes, (yeah,its only recently that I discover I need a personality change) and which I'm dying to fulfill. Even typing this makes me feel relieved. I can tell you what its like. It just feel SO good. And I know its a bad thing because I'm feeling so good and also because I know good things never feel as good. Or not. I don't know. I'm not in a stable state emotionally, mentally and a bit physically. I'm having a horrible cough and it has been lasting for two weeks and it's all because of the SULPHUR from the volcanoes I've been to. I hate you,sulphur. Yeah, thats right. I'm hating things now. Even if it's volcanoes, I don't care. I hate you.

I know I sounded horrible, it's just that I'm stressed out. Don't take me seriously ;)

Foul is Fair and Fair is Foul

2011-06-12T17:39:00.001+08:00

Yeah, Shakespeare :P Good is bad and bad is good. Right is wrong and wrong is right.Here,let me rephrase it for you. Good can be bad and bad can be good. Right can be wrong and wrong can be right. True,eh? Everything is something. Everyone is someone. Even the worst people may serve to a good purpose in some ways :) You just have to look for it, and flourish it. What a beautiful, beautiful world :))

Something to think of :)

2011-06-12T17:30:00.002+08:00

Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow. But, if we are wise, we know that there's always

TOMORROW :))

Quizzies!

2011-06-10T13:43:00.005+08:00

1.How expressive are you?
Results: You are somewhat expressive.
You are the type of person who has a lot of thoughts... too many to express all of them You are astute and downright smart. Your intelligence is subtle and shrewd.When something is important enough, you will tell people about it. You like to mull things over for a while.You are deeply intuitive. For you, gut instincts will always trump logic.

2.What age do you act?
Results: You act like you're 23. (yeah,thanks a lot for that)
You are a twenty-something at heart. You feel like an adult, and you're optimistic about life.You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.You're still figuring out your place in the world and how you want your life to shape up.The world is full of possibilities, and you can't wait to explore many of them.

3.How rare is your personality?
Results: Your personality is the rarest (INFJ) (heck,I don't even know what INFJ means)
Your personality type is introspective, principled, self critical, and sensitive. Only about 2% of all people have your personality - including 3% of all women and around 1% of all men. You are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging.

4.What should you be when you grow up?
Results: You should be a doctor. (now,this is coool ((: )
You are practical, sharp, and very intuitive.Optimistic and energetic, you are a problem solver who doesn't get discouraged easily.You are also quite compassionate and caring. You make people feel hopeful.You're highly adaptable and capable. You do well with almost any curve ball life throws at you.You do best when you:
- Are always learning new subjects
- Use your knowledge to solve problems
You would also be a good therapist or detective.

5.How evil are you?
Results: You are 12% evil. (ni macam sikit sangat je.i'm not that good)
You are good. So good,that you make evil people squirm. Just remember, you need to turn to the dark side to get what you want.

6.What gender is your brain?
Results: Your brain is 47% Female, 53% Male. (haha,this is weird.)
Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female. You are both sensitive and savvy. Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed. But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

7.What is your personality type?
Results: You are an INFJ (again with the INFJ?)
The Protector. You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is. You are an excellent listener with almost infinite patience. You have complex feelings, and you take great care to express them.
In love, you see relationships as an opportunity to connect and grow.You enjoy relationships when they are improving and changing. You can't stand stagnation.
At work, you stay motivated and happy... as long as you are working toward a dream you support.
You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.
How you see yourself: Hardworking, ethical, and helpful
When other people don't get you, they see you as: Manipulative, weak, and unstable

8.World's shortest personality test
Results: You are honest. (i'm starting to think,these quizzes only give out the positives)
You are pure, moral, and adaptable.You tend to blend into your surroundings. Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends.You believe that you live a virtuous life...And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye.As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

9.Are you conservative or liberal?
Results: You are 45% Conservative, 55% Liberal
Social Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal
Personal Responsibility: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal
Fiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal
Ethics: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal
Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

10. Are you immature?
Results: You are somewhat mature (somewhat? whatever does that mean)
You definitely act like an adult sometimes, but a big part of you is still a kid at heart. While your immature part is definitely fun, you have to grow up sooner or later.

11. What kind of leader are you?
Results: You are a democratic leader.
As a leader, you try to make decisions that benefit as many people as possible. You know that you can't please everyone, but you do like to get everyone's input. You are good at facilitating compromise and consensus. You meet people half way. You may have the final say, but you don't want anyone to feel like you made an unfair decision.

12. How do you get your points across?

Results: You Get Your Point Across by Telling

You are direct and to the point. You move quickly, and you don't like to waste time. You concisely present others with the facts and let them make up their own minds. You don't try to persuade others. When you know you're right, people tend to agree with you. You take charge naturally, and people don't usually stop you. You are confident and competent.

13. How do you see the outside world?

Results: You See the Outside World as Fascinating

You are simply brilliant. You are bright, intelligent, and creative. You can't describe your feelings easily - even to yourself. Your emotions are a mystery. You are a truth seeker. You are willing to accept the real truth, no matter how difficult it is. You are not prone to compromise. You're set in your ways and proudly so.

14. Do you have a good sense of humour?

Results: You have an Underdeveloped Sense of Humour (hahahahaha :DD)

You aren't a very funny person, and to be honest, you don't really try to make others laugh. Your attempts at humor don't go over very well, and you have mostly given up on being funny. You may be humorously challenged, but your outlook probably also needs improvement. It's likely that you're too negative. Try to see the light hearted side to every situation. And keep practicing your humor. Eventually you'll have people in stitches.

15. How confrontational are you?

Results:You are a diplomat.
You're no stranger to confrontation, but you do try to keep things in perspective.Even if you're in the right, no one likes to hear that they're in the wrong.You approach confrontations with tact, manners, and even a little bit of manipulation.You know that you can attract more flies with honey than vinegar!

16. What is your darkest element?

Results:Your Dark Element is Earth

You are well grounded. You nurture and comfort everyone that you know. You are naturally diplomatic, but it isn't easy. You can be indecisive and contradictory at times. You work hard, but you also get discouraged. You can be withdrawn and moody. You tend to give so much to others that you forget to take care of yourself.

17.Are you emphathetic?

Results:You are extremely emphathetic

Whenever someone you love feels a certain way, you can't help but feel that way too. The emotions of others deeply affect you, and it's easy for you to be moved to laughter or tears.You are very in tune with your surroundings. You immediately pick up on the vibe of a room.You don't like to see anyone feeling discomfort or pain. You want to make everyone around you as happy as possible.

18. Are you fiction or non-fiction?

Results: You are fiction.

You believe that life is magical, especially when you enter the world of ideas. You are highly creative and imaginative. The real world often isn't enough for you.You are optimistic and hopeful. You believe that we craft our own destinies. You believe that if you can dream it, you can do it. And you do a lot of dreaming.

19. What is your style type?
Results: Your style is classic.
You want clothes that will stand the test of time, and you're willing to invest in quality pieces.You don't fall for trends, and you don't change your style very often.You know what looks flattering on you, and you stick to it. People can count on you to be well dressed.When you want to change things up, you'll experiment with some color and accessories. You know a little goes a long way.

20. What does your least favourite colour says about you?

Results: You are deep.
You like to have fun, but you aren't a big fan of frivolity. You object to too much silliness.
You are quite intellectual and thoughtful. You get a lot of satisfaction from doing important work.

21. What is your word?
Results: Your word is think.
You see life as an amazing mix of possibilities, ideas, and fascinations. And sometimes you feel like you don't have enough time to take it all in. You love learning. Whether you're in school or not, you're probably immersed in several subjects right now. When you're not learning, you're busy reflecting. You think a lot about the people you know and the things you've experienced.

seronok pulak buat bendebende macam ni di waktu petang :)

I am not a literal person, I'm just saying.

2011-06-06T21:29:00.002+08:00

There's no one like you.

You've never even meet everyone on this planet, let alone know them. How could you possibly know

that?

I can't live without you.

Water, food, oxygen. Emm.. maybe, some cash and a home. Those are the things you can't live without. But, you still can live without a home. The homeless has been doing it for years and I still see them, breathing and living. No problemo :)

I give you my heart.

Haha, I always think this is kinda ironic, because you'll have to die to give your heart to someone else, or maybe undergo a surgery. That way, you'll die and you can never get to be with the one you love. Except, of course, if you donate and survive, but that's not the point. Emm, I'm thinking that you're thinking, what the heck am I thinking, writing about this in the first place. I'm thinking that you didn't even see the irony. Wait, let me just show you this.

this is the real deal.

see? this is the real 'I give you my heart'.

Sadly, none of these are real :(( That's Will Turner. That's Elizabeth Swann. Boo-hoo.

You drive me crazy.

Actually, I have nothing to argue on this. This can be true on some cases. People who commit suicide because they were, sadly, dumped by their so called lovers, are somehow mentally disturbed, don't you think?

I love you.

Hmm.. This is a tough one. It can and cannot be true. That depends.

The Nothingness Of Nothing

2011-06-06T20:41:00.000+08:00

Nothing to work on, nothing to say,

Nothing you do can blow me away,

Nothing to think of, nothing to do,

Nothing you say can turn me into you :PP

If you're happy and you know it..

2011-05-30T16:29:00.000+08:00

Clap your hands! *Pap! Pap!

But there are times when I don't know if I'm happy or not. There are times when actions can't be explained. When, you did something without taking account of the consequences, without even caring about the results, and some, without even knowing what would happen. Scary, eh? That's reality, face it.

That is why some fathers molested their own flesh and blood. That is why mothers kill their babies. That is why people do things they will later regret. But if every evil, every crime is due to these reasons, then everyone will be good provided they are rational thinking at the time of the crime. However, in this world, or so as I believe, there are balanced good and evil. Evil does exist.

There are people who would do these things for the mere sake of doing. There are people, who would harass for pleasure, steal for luxuries, kill for revenge. So,fear the world, ladies and gentlemen for the world can be evil :) Hahahahaha. Are you scared now?

Actually, the world is not evil at all. How can a non-living matter have personalities? The people who are evil, and who reside on Earth are the ones contaminating the world's image. They had been ruining the world's reputation. Now, everyone would regard the world as a horrid place to live in. Too bad :( Just because the majorities are evil, we get to be the bad guys too :(

Don't ask why I'm breaching on such topics, Jodi Picoult had me going crazy about crimes and murders. I've been reading her book recently, A Change Of Heart :) Now, I'm waiting for the new one, Sing You Home to be published in mass production paperback for I don't have the required 60 Ringgit to buy it :(

What if the what if's are real?

2011-05-30T15:49:00.001+08:00

Then, Israel won't exist. Wars won't happen. Nuclear missiles can only be seen in Call of Duty. Tanks are for museums exhibits only. Army won't have anything to do but sit, eat and talk all day. They will get paid, but their services are not needed. People won't have to watch CNN because there are not much going on in the world. Reporters would go berserk, trying to find terrifying stories to scare people with. Volunteers would have nothing to volunteer to. Flotillas would float, and only float. Doctors will be in less demand, and they will eventually get bored for they don't have much patients. Teachers can't use horrifying war videos to make their students cry. People would run around, happy that their family are well and that their limbs are all serving to their purposes. And I, won't have even the slightest thought of writing this post :)

Gravity loves me

2011-05-30T15:10:00.000+08:00

The problem with gravity is that he loves us a tad too much. He wants us to be with him at all times. He's afraid of letting us go, so he's constantly holding us close. But, dear gravity, can't you see that you're hurting us? Every time we try to go, you keep pulling us back, causing us to fall, and hurting ourselves.

What if gravity finally learns his lessons and stop holding us to the ground? We will be afloat, weightless, with no directions and guidance :)

Define gravity with whoever you want. I couldn't careless :p

Threes

2011-05-30T14:54:00.000+08:00

I know that if I start, it would be hard for me to stop. But if I don't start, I will not stop myself from wanting to. So,here I am, starting..

Ladies and gentlemen, Sorry, the debate juice is still flowing like rivers in my veins and my kidney has been doing a poor job of cleaning them up. Today,today,today. Is my today better than my yesterday? Yes, if I want it to be. Yes, if I believe it is. Yes, if and only if my mind accept the nooks and crannies of today :) So,what are the nooks and crannies of today?

Number one, I woke up late at 10.00 a.m. This is what I tell me when I glance at my cellphone and stare at the hideously arranged numbers of 1 and 0 and 0 and 2 : No way! I'm late again. But, this is what I tell me after I woke up feeling miserably sick and ashamed of my lack of self discipline : Now that you have woken up late, use all the time left of today wisely :)

Number two, my attempts of fixing the pink box which is not worthy of being called a laptop is deemed to be a failure. This is what happened to me : I was enraged, and quietly, very quietly, cursed. Yess, that's what I did. Break my own rules. But, this is what happened after I, ashamedly, cursed : I shut the thing down, unplugged the wire, take a deep breath, tried to talk me out of hating my own laptop, used the family's computer to google for the why's and how's, printed them out, and voilaa! It's all done! (:

Number three, I ate an awfully huge helpings of Mac N Cheese and some mocha ice-cream for dessert :)

Sooo, what I can conclude from today is..
Number one, it's okay if your day is 50% ruined, just make sure you don't ruin the other half :)
Number two, if you're mad, stop whatever you are doing, try to rationalize your mind and just relax. Then, continue what you were doing, and you will get better results. Anger ruins things, trust me.
Number three, mocha ice-cream taste awesome when combined with oreos :))

Free Happiness

2011-03-07T23:35:00.001+08:00

Peachy :DD I'm feeling peachy but I don't even know what that means. Is it the same as 'I'm feeling happy' because it really sounds alike. Shesh. Okay, now I'm starting to see images of juicy, orange, peach flesh with snow white whipped cream on top. Yummy :D Hey, I may act all giddy and happy tonight, but don't be surprised. I can be a lot perkier when my moods are up. This is only a level three of my happiness meter. It once gone up to five, I can't tell you what it's like. I see bright lights everywhere. On my books, in my class, even on the face of my History teacher! It's a wonderful feeling, to be happy. I wish I could somehow feel it again, but who knows how and who knows when :(

HAPPY. Happy comes in various form. Happy Birthday, Happy New Year, Happy Meal :) I'll take the third, with extra french fries pleease :DD See? Told you I'm perky. Shesh. Why do I keep saying that word? Shesh. Shesh. Shesh. I don't know. I watched Fullhouse, and I like it when Ji Eun is mad. She goes, 'Shesh' and makes faces. No, I don't like the 'make faces' part, I just love the way she says, 'Shesh' :D So, here I am, applying my new interest in Blogspot. Again, my gratitude to the creator of Blogspot :) Hah! See? I keep doing smileys, which is a manifestation of happiness in the soul, eh? You don't think so? Well, it is. Happy people write happy sentences with happy faces at the end instead of a boring old fullstop :) Fullstops are fine, don't get me wrong. It's just that.. they don't potray much delight in life, don't you think? Smileys make boring sentences alive. It's amazing how with a : and a ), you can make your loved ones smile. It's not much,really. It costs you almost nothing. 0.000000001% energy and 0.0000000001% time and 0.000000001% money. Go on. Try it :)

Is This Really Possible?

2011-03-07T21:21:00.003+08:00

Where we go we don't need roads

Where we stop nobody knows

To the stars if you really want it :))

Got a jetpack with your name on it

Above the clouds in the atmosphere

Just say the words and we're outta here :))

One Stormy Day,

2011-03-07T18:15:00.003+08:00

Tee Hee. I know I used to tell people how I hate Korean drama,but look at what happened? Haha. Guess I shouldn't have been that dense. I know. At first, I thought I would just watch it for the sake of fun, but after two episodes of Fullhouse, I found myself craving for more. Who is to blame? The heart, of course. You see, last night I was supposed to install Adobe Photoshop in my laptop, but after a few (quite a lot actually) failures, I got pissed off, so I cancelled the setup, and opened random videos in my laptop. It was never my intention to watch Fullhouse, but since I was randomly, and should I add, furiously pressing buttons, I came across Fullhouse. Don't ask how it got there. It's just there. I don't even remember how the heck that 16 episodes of Fullhouse somehow manage to find their way into my library. Shesh. It was just so good, I stayed up until 3am,watching. I know, it's a waste of time, but curiosity got over me. The thing I hated most about that drama is that it keeps ending at the good part. It's irritating all right. As if that wasn't annoying enough, I had to put on glasses because my eyes were burning as a result of staring at the screen for hours. The next morning, I woke up with bags! But who's to blame? The heart, again. See? That is exactly why the heart is the most dangerous and powerful thing ever. Bak kata pepatah Melayu, ikut hati mati, ikut rasa binasa. Sometimes I wonder, who the heck is responsible for inventing such phrases? They say it's the old folks, but how in the world did they know so much when there's not even a single computer, much less the internet in the older days? It's a miracle,eh? No, it's all Allah's doing.

Okay, back to where we began. Fullhouse. I always thought Korean dramas are sobbing, dramatic love stories but I was proven wrong. It was actually pretty funny, although, I can't figure out why on Earth are Koreans always trying to be all cute and childish? It's just weird. I mean, it freaked me out to see such a handsome and should I say, macho guy singing nursery rhymes. It's hilarious, yes, but it's a bit weird. I don't know. That's just my personal opinion. Anyway, I still have 6 more episodes to go, but I'm not sure if I want to see them all. Why? Well, if I finished watching them, it won't be fun anymore. That's how my mind operates. I get tired of things I have, and I'm always longing for things I don't. I guess I'm never thankful enough, eh? That is the part of me which needs improving. But what if I'm always forever satisfied with what I have? Won't that stop me from working hard? Shesh. Life will be life. So difficult and unpredictable.

At times, I thought I have everything under control. I always regard life as a science experiment. That if I had the correct variables manipulated, the responding variables will turn out good and vice versa. I thought that, if I did what others did, I will get what others get. I thought there's rules in life. You know,sort of like Newton's rules of motion. If this, then that. I was wrong, of course. There are no such thing as this and that. Everything happens without anyone but Allah knowing. Everything is unpredictable. You see him studying hard and succeed, but it doesn't mean that when you study hard, you will succeed as well. No. That is not definite. Nothing is ever definite except Death. Astaghfirullah. Even the word Death sends chills down my spine. Does it have the same effect to you too? I know it does.

I feel so glad that people came up with the idea of blogging. Who knew blogging could do people wonder? My personal opinion, the creator of blogs should be awarded with a Nobel prize :) Don't you agree?

I am number four :)

2011-03-06T01:50:00.000+08:00

I know. They're just impossible to be left unnoticed, aren't they? The fact that they're unbelievably gorgeous plays a major role in making me enjoy watching this movie despite having to shiver for two hours in the emptiness of a cinema. This is the sort of movie I love. Cute actors playing major roles in a sort of a fantasy tale where the hero never dies :) Sometimes, I wish I play a major role in someone's story. But for now, let's just focus on keeping the hero in my story alive. Who? Me, of course. I'm the hero in my story :)

Ape lagi?

2011-03-05T20:09:00.002+08:00

Bile kebosanan dah menimpa, hati jadi hampa :( It's late and I didn't get the chance to say good bye. Lalalalala. Cerita fiksyen :

I have to go, but my heart won't let me. I want to stay, but time had failed me. I feel so empty and hollow, got them waiting for me. So I ran and I ran and I wouldn't stop running, wishing my legs won't broke off in despair. Hoping to reach a place where time will never find me, hopes will never lift me and gravity won't keep me on the ground.

I sat deep in a corner. The deepest and darkest I could ever find. Where people can never see me, where my hands can never touch me and fingers can't point to me. Because now I'm lost. Lost from the world I ever knew. Lost from the people I never really care. Lost from the emptiness into something new :)

Devastating for those with hearts

2011-03-05T20:07:00.001+08:00

Remember when I tell you about my kitten who is not aware of the dangers the world has in store for us? Well, I'm sad to say, he died a very tragic death :( Innalillahi wainna ilahirrajiun. He was hit by a car on the road in front of our house. We're all devastated especially my little brother who had cried for almost two days. This happened weeks ago, actually but I never had the chance to write about it in my blog. I've been quite busy lately. Busy studying, busy practising, and busy waiting for something that will never come. I would and will tell you more, but that is, if my mood and time permits. And of course, if Allah wills it :)

Tee Hee :)

2011-03-05T19:27:00.000+08:00

Tetibe rase macam nak post dalam bahasa Melayu, bahasa ibunda kita. Mesti korang cakap, eh, asal tetibe budak ni jadi pelik? Hehe. Saya pun tak tahu nape tetibe rase nak jadi Melayu sejati ni, mungkin sebab hari ni hujan lebat kot. Masa depan saya dah kembali kabur, emosi saya semakin hancur dan mata saya bengkak sebab tak cukup tidur.

Ceritanye macam ni, semalam, saya cume sempat melelapkan mata selama hanya sejam dek kesungguhan menyiapkan keceriaan dorm. Kami tak berhajat untuk menang kerana kesuntukan wang dan masa. Alaa,alasan je tu. Orang lain boleh buat lawa-lawa, nape korang x boleh? Yelah,yelah. Memang salah kami pun. Haihh, tak sanggup nak dengar result :)

Cerita lagi satu pulak macam ni, ujian selaras satu saya macam ape tah. Mak saya pesan, kalau kite dah usaha, tawakal alallah je. Jadi, disebabkan saya rase saya dah usaha yang terbaik, saya pun berserah la kepada Allah. Tapi, saya tak tahu pulak soalannye berbentuk macam tu. Manela saya nak tahu.. Saya ni baru je masuk form four. Tak penah kenal pun soalan exam SPM. Dahla sume yang saya baca tak masuk, sume yang masuk saya tak baca. Mase tu, saya rase macam nak lari je dari dewan peperiksaan tu. Bile habis exam, saya macam orang hilang arah, jalan merayau-rayau, cakap pun meracau-racau, sakit perut sebab empat hari tak makan nasi. Tapi tak kurus pun :( Bazir je tahan lapar. Saya asik complain je kat kawan saya. Saya cakap nak pindah sekolah la, nak cuti sakit sampai Periksa Pertengahan Tahun la, nak mati la. Kesian kawan saya, terpaksa tanggung derita saya. Hehe. Maaf ye, sape yang terpakse dengar saya bebel mase tu. Dah lame-lame lepas tu, baru saya sedar. Teruknye saya ni. Tak boleh nak tahan ujian. Tu baru sikit je Allah nak tunjuk. Tu pun, saya macam ape tah. Sekarang ni, saya dah redha lah ape nak jadi pun. Saya takde rase menyesal pun, sebab saya tahu saya dah berusaha, dah berdoa, dah bertawakal. Cume, mungkin ni bukan rezeki saya. Haihh, tak sanggup nak dengar result :)

Ade cerita lagi ni, tapi ni cerita rahsia ni. Eh, tak mau la cerita. Malu.. Hehe.

School of humans.

2010-12-28T14:55:00.000+08:00

Dear friends, let me share with you what I have for life.

The rainbows are fake, of course. I put them in there (:

So.. It looks beautiful eh? That's what I thought the first time I saw it. A brief introduction : Its name is Sekolah Berasrama Penuh Integrasi Sabak Bernam or SBPI Sabak Bernam or SBPISB or Intesaber for short ;) The students are not more than five hundred, I think. There's just three classes for Form One, Two and Three. For the upper forms however, there's five classes. We took nine subjects including Arabic for the lower forms. When you're a form fourer, you can choose if you want Sains Agama, Sains Tulen or Sains Teknikal. The teachers are awesome here. Well, at least most of them are. The students.. The students are great too. Although.. I would make some changes if I were to be the new headmaster of this school. The school is good, but it's not good enough (: Whatever it is, I'm still grateful that I'm here. At least I didn't end up in juvi. That would be like, ten times worse than being in a school, three hours away from home.

Yeah, I editted this too. There is actually no living species in the SBPISB lettering.

I drew this during my spare time. I have plenty after PMR ;)

This is the musolla. I took this picture at dawn, I think.

The all-time favourite Japanese song :D

I would put more, but most of them are not good enough and I want only the best to share with my dear friends ;) The bad pictures would be the result of my poor photography skills, sorry.

The impossibles that are possible.

2010-12-28T00:32:00.000+08:00

1. The 'dog ate my homework' excuse can be true sometimes.
Yesterday, I was busy wrapping my textbooks which look like ancient manuscripts except for one Physics practical textbook when our kitten came running towards me. I was watching Hawaii Five-O and had failed to notice what the little rascal was doing until it was too late. Turned out, he was literally eating my Physics book which by chance (or fate), happened to be the only book that actually look like a book. I guess that's what you get when you're ungrateful for the free books you get.

2. People can forget to breathe.
I went swimming recently and this had happened to me. I always thought that no one can 'forget' to breathe and that it was just some tacky lines in love songs but I was proven wrong that day. I was swimming and when my head emerges to the surface, I forgot to breathe eventhough the only reason I went to the surface is to pump some oxygen into my lungs. I was thinking of somethng else at that moment, and it just slipped my mind that breathing is something I can't live without. Luckily, I didn't drown for I did breathe the second time I went to the surface. ( I don't know the word people use to describe the action of craning your neck above the surface to take in air when swimming, so I'm sorry for my lack of vocabulary.)

3. Curiousity really kills the cat.
My kitten which can be so adorable and obnoxious at the same time had developed this intense curiousity of almost everything. He finds almost everything intriguing and chases after them. Once, he tried to bite my pink, sharp scissors. By sharp, I mean really sharp. The sort of sharp that can cut through cloths without much effort. Then, I tried to scare him a way by thrusting the scissors into his direction. Well, he wasn't scared at all. Then, I snipped away the air around him with the scissors with the hope that the snipping sound will make him go away, but of course, that didn't work as well. He had even tried to touch the moving blades with his tiny paws. Imagine if the scissors is not a scissors but metal blades rotating at the speed of light..

4. I ran out of impossible.
I have no more impossible things to discuss because I want to watch House right now and also because I'm just so good but mostly it was because I want to watch House. Goodbye, my friends :)

Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini

2010-12-27T23:48:00.004+08:00

I bought Eragon at a bookstore in an airport when I was waiting to board a plane to Bali. I remembered using a Quiksilver surfing school brochure as a bookmark. I read the book every night while I was in Bali. Once, it rained when we were visiting a temple, and I was so worried that my beloved Eragon would get wet, the first thing I did when we finally found shelter was to rummaged my handbag and locate the book. Lucky for me, the book was still in a perfect condition :) That was in 2009. Now, I have fallen in love with the whole Inheritance cycle : Eragon, Eldest, Brisingr and Christopher Paolini himself. No that I actually love him, I'm just trying to sound perky, okay. He's really great, though. He was homeschooled and he finished high school at the age fifteen. That's when he wrote Eragon. Well, that explains why Eragon was fifteen at the beginning of the story but get this, he was fifteen when he wrote Eragon! I'm fifteen, and I can't even finish an essay without having to wreck my brain and possibly cause brain damage in the progress. I envy that guy so badly, but in a good way, of course :)

ah-mazing

Eragon :)

totally ah-mazing

Eldest :))

more than ah-mazing

Brisingr :D

Or, The Seven Promises of Eragon Shadeslayer and Saphira Bjartskular

I want the fourth book! I can't hardly wait. Until then, may your swords stay sharp ;)

(i'm a Paolini wannabe)

The People In My School Life

2010-12-27T16:51:00.004+08:00

Saidatul Akma.

She's my bestie at school. We talk about lots of things, share secrets and do things that people do when they're bestfriends. I'm so lucky I have a bestfriend :) She's the sort of friend that really gets me. We've been friends for three years now. Of course, there are ups and downs in our friendship but we managed to get through them.

Mahirah

She's my dormmate and also my 'secret bearer'. We share secrets with each other. We sort of, trade our secrets. She is really nice and kind and nice and kind. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful friend like herself. Alhamdulillah :) Oh,and.. we have been dormmates for three years and InshaAllah, two years to come :)

Aisyah Amna and Izzati

My lovely debate friends! :) I love them both, and as equals, of course. Izzati always called me during the holidays and her calls usually make my day. With Aisyah Amna, it's different. We text each other and she knows some of my secrets too ;) Ohh, they're also my study mates, especially Izzati. I used to hangout at her dorm during the weekend to study together. Sometimes, she would stay at mine. Izzati is also a fan of music and she always makes me write down lyrics to the songs in her MP3 player. Haha :DD

Syazana, Naqibah, Amal, Yayah, Umi and Izzi

They're my classmates and my close friends :) Syazana is nice, Naqibah is funny, Amal and Yayah is the cutest BFF pair ever :) Umi is loud and looks tough, but she's afraid to cross the bridge in the paddy fields. I should have bring a video cam, haha. Sorry, Umi. Izzi is 'pelat' and she's also Dobby. I am Smigol, and together, we become Smibby :DD

Fasha, Nabihah, Afifah, Aini, Jenny and Zahidah

Well, they're also my classmates except for Zahidah. Fasha is sometimes silly, but I love her! She once pulled a prank on me, but I was lucky enough to pull through. Haha, exaggerate much. Nabihah or Pe-a sat next to me in class and we used to talk about lots of things. Afifah was our class treasurer and whenever I see her, my purse hurts :D Aini is cute and draws cute things. Jenny is.. well, Jenny is Jenny! I love them so much, and we've been together for three years now. Next year, however, will be different as we will NOT be in the same class which is really devastating because I love 3 Hidayah! There's also the guys but I can't write about them as I don't have any guy cartoon image :( Ohh, and as for Zahidah, she's really funny and we sort of have a lot of things in common except the 'really funny' part. I'm hopeless when it comes to humour.

Kak Ainaa, Kak Dibah, Kak Ekin, Kak Insyirah, Kak Lana,
Wani, Fieza, Syafiqah, Qila, Elisya and Nisa

They are my dormmates in dorm Sumaiyah. I love them too, and we've been in the same dorm for years. We want to win the best dorm award next year, InshaAllah. Although, we're always getting into trouble, we're really tight with each other ;)

Anonymous

Well, there's not much to talk about her. She's just a regular person, not that outstanding and not so low-profile either. She's quite the invisible type and I doubt that many people even know her. She doesn't talk much except with the people she's used to. It's not really her fault, though. She wants to, but she just doesn't know how.

p.s. Pictures are unrealistic and should be ignored. Thank you.

Hello there!

2010-12-27T15:38:00.003+08:00

Forget your past and get ready for the coming of,
two thousand eleven

I love new years because they give me the chance to start over. Most people would have their 'Azam Tahun Baru' and this time, I actually have one and I am determined to fulfill it. It would be like, my prophecy except I don't even know if it's going to happen for real. I guess, it's not a prophecy then. Too bad. I love those mystical magical stuffs on TV. Stuffs in Merlin like, crystal balls, scrolls and old binded books with brown papers and tattered edges. Anyway, what I want for next year.

relationship

I want to become a person with actual feelings. Not that I'm a cold person before, I just want to be somebody warmer and friendlier. Most people think I'm a bit 'sombong' but I know that deep down, I'm not so I'll prove to the people of the world that I'm not what they think I am. Hopefully, InshaAllah. I also have this eccentric behaviour but I'm not going to change that. It's a part of who I am, and even if I want to change that, I don't see how.

studies

I will try my best to maintain my grades in school. I know that next year will be tougher. It's always tougher. However, everything seems hard at first, but if you keep on doing it, it'll become effortless. InshaAllah ;) I've been thinking of taking 'Sains Agama' and I hope all goes well. I want straight A's for my exams next year, and I will strive for them. Amiin.

debate

This is something I really, really want. It is my biggest wish to win, or at least be one of the finalists in the IIU and PPM debate next year. Our debate team is currently lacking of members, and we're recruiting more people in our Debate Club. Hopefully, some of them would be able to join our team. I really hope we could win next year. For that, I NEED more practises because apparently, I lack of them. Kak Lyni will be the only form fivers in the English team, but that's okay because she's really good and very systematic. Thank you, Kak Lyni. I hope some of my friends would join the team next year. My friends who would be likely to join us are Ikram Syahmi, Faiz Fahmi, Fatin Ahza, Fatin Azzara and Zahidah. We're targetting on winning the Central Zone but it's really hard since most great schools are in the Central Zone. There's Ssp, Rmc, Tkc, Smapk, Sas, Integomb, Sepintar, Smss, Smashur etc. It seems impossible, but impossible is overrated. I had also been 'retired' for one year. I didn't join any debate competitions last year, because the teacher had sent a team of seniors. I was the youngest in the team last year and you know how the young ones are always the worst. Haha, I can't compete with my seniors, they're way too good compared to 'the lack of exprience and immature ideas' me. My seniors in debate are Kak Zalikha, Kak Lyni, Akhiar and Syahir. Not forgetting the BM team, Ulul, Rahim, Izwan, Epul and two great friends of mine, Izzati and Aisyah Amna. It has been an honour being in the debate family :) I love you guys!

blog

Well, my next year's target for this blog is to make it colourful and fun. I know I used to be the monotonous type and I'm going to 'reinvent' myself next year. InshaAllah. I would love to put pictures of myself in this blog, but I can't due to reasons I can't tell. It's actually not much of a secret, but I rather not tell as it may be offensive to some.

everything else

Everything else is rather a secret I won't tell unless you're my brain or heart or any other living organs inside me. I would just say this, I will try to become a better person than I already am. Amiin.

So, that is my future plans for my life in two thousand eleven. I can hardly wait for next year, it's going to be great. Hey, checkout the new, optimistic me (;

Happy New Year, and May Allah bless you with good fortunes.
Love, Ainaa.

Frankly,

2010-12-27T14:17:00.002+08:00

Who is this Frank guy and why does he get a whole adjective for himself?

1. I like the colour pink, but I think it's too girlish.
2. I love Eragon, Eldest and Brisigr and I can't wait for the fourth book to be released :)
3. I like wearing skirts (long skirts, I mean) but I can't because no one wears them anymore.
4. I am glad that I'm right handed.
5. I wish my house is in a forest, on a mountain top, near a beach or a river.
6. I want to travel all over the world someday.
7. I hate calculating measurements of circles because I abhor (see,I'm using a stronger word to emphasize my hatred) 3.14159265358979323846 or in words, Pi.
8. I can't write on a blank page. I need lines to write.
9. I love chocolates but I hate chocolate flavour. Chocolate ice-cream, chocolate cake, and everything else that is chocolate flavoured.
10. I can't bring myself to eat green veggies, especially the leafy ones. Uggh.

Corny, I know.

2010-12-27T13:43:00.001+08:00

"It's a hundred and four days of summer vacation, Then school comes along just to end it, So the annual problem for our generation, Is finding a good way to spend it, Like maybe building a rocket, Or fighting a mummy, Or climbing up the eiffel tower, Discovering something that doesn't exist, Or giving a monkey a shower, Surfing tidal waves, Creating nanobot, Or locating Frankenstein's brain, Finding a dodo bird, Painting a continent, Or driving our sister insane, As you can see, There's a whole lot of stuffs to do before school starts this fall, So stick with us cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! "

Call me crazy, call me childish but I really love this song!

It's Finallly Over!

2010-12-25T13:43:00.005+08:00

It's amazing how three years of life can fit on a piece of incredibly thin, ugly paper with holes on the sides.

it's just amazing, isn't it?

I am relieved and thankful to Allah for blessing me with the much desired results, Alhamdulillah. To my friends who had achieved their goals, congratulations! And for those who didn't, congratulations for putting in such incredulous efforts and being brave enough to accept failure. It is easy to fail, but it is hard to accept failure. By accepting, I don't mean literally. I'm talking about accepting and embracing your defeat and using it as an incentive (sorry if I'm not using the word incentive correctly, I still don't understand it completely despite the lengthy explanation from Cikgu Salina) to seek for success. Success don't have legs, they won't just come running into your arms. Frankly, I am afraid of failure. I have, of course failed before, and I loathed the feeling of being defeated. Especially when you lost in Street Fighter with someone nine years your junior :) I used to be the kid who 'always want to win' in my primary school. The teachers even complained to my parents that I took everything too seriously. I wanted to win in almost everything, even the stupidest games. I remembered when I was younger, I used to cry whenever I got the 'Go To Jail' card when I played monopoly. Some people think being ambitious is a positive trait. Well, I wouldn't deny that completely, but it is only good when used at the right situation. When people are ambitious in Monopoly, it's just plain stupid. I'm not telling you to be a good-for-nothing, of course not. I'm just saying that you should strive in things that really matters. Say, for example, rather than working hard to win in an argument about whose mother owns the most expensive car, you should put in effort to win the hearts of your friends,and let them win instead :) Of course, I have no right to tell people what they can or can't do. I only have my freedom of speech, and you have the freedom of choosing. So, you choose.

For Those Who Actually Care (:

2010-12-22T13:31:00.002+08:00

"We must become the change we want to see."

-Mahatma Gandhi

Suicide.

2010-12-20T15:47:00.005+08:00

Don't get me wrong. I am not suicidal.

The only reason of me breaching on this matter is simply because I keep reading stories of suicides and I wanted to share my views on it. For muslims, suicides is one of the biggest sins and it will led you directly to hell. Why oh why do people end their lives so easily? So pathetically.

Suicidal people regard themselves as failures. Ironically, some of these so-called failures, had even failed to commit suicide. I've read about a few who tried to kill themselves and OD'd on aspirins but end up with kidney failure. I'm not saying they're stupid. I'm just saying that they acted irrationally and were mentally distracted at that time.

However, most of us had probably experienced a moment where you just feel the need to step out of life itself. A time when you just can't bear the burden of living. A time when you feel so hopeless and help is not on it's way. Just know that death is not the solution. However hard and difficult your life is, there's always someone with heavier burden than you. Personally, I think suicides are the most idiotic and selfish act ever.

I admit to finding stories about suicides somehow fascinating, but I would never support the act. It's like phychiatrists finding their patients intriguing, and maybe, intoxicating, but he would never want to become one of them. I wish I could save the human population from decreasing in number as a result of suicides.

1. One million approximate number of suicides worldwide each year.
2. Every 40 seconds somebody dies by suicide.
3. 60 per cent increase in worldwide suicide rates in last 45 years.
4. 20 numbers of failed suicide attempts for each successful one.

It's very sad, isn't it? When some people are fighting for their lives in surgery operation rooms, some would just sit in their bedrooms and end their lives as if they worth no more than a penny. I guess we would never be grateful enough.

No title.

2010-12-20T15:06:00.002+08:00

I am not happy but I am not sad. I felt nothing. School holiday does nothing to my mood. The idea of getting myself out of that wretched period of exams and homeworks enticed me at first, but now that I'm out of school for the holidays, I have nothing to do. All I do is sit around and watch things. Random things, like the way the fan makes screeching sounds when it rotates or how the carpet in my bedroom is so thick that I could almost bury my cellphone in it. I have also notice how my head spins when I get up from laying on the floor for hours.

Most of the times, I would just stay in my room and read books. I've finished four books in less than a week. I hated myself for that. Since books does not come easily for me, I always read books slowly for the first time. I wanted to savour the pleasure of reading as much as I possibly could.

You know, how people finds happiness in all sorts of things. It can be in their marriage, cooking dishes for their loved ones or collecting antique cars. It can also be the most ridiculous things like, bleaching floors or blowing bubbles.

That reminds me, there's a line in Nicholas Spark's Dear John, "It can be coins or sports or politics or horses or music or faith... the saddest people I've ever met in life are the ones who don't care deeply in anything at all." Trust me, this is not some lines I copied from the internet, I had actually typed it down myself.

Oh, there's also a Westlife song, Flying Without Wings, "Everybody's looking for that something, One thing that makes it all complete, You find it in strange places, Places you never knew it could be, Some find it in the face of their children, Some find it in their lover's eyes, Who can deny the joy it brings, When you've found that special thing, You're flying without wings"

For me, aside from Islam, reading has done me wonders. However, that will not stop me from venturing out to try new things in life because if I don't, I will never know if there are things that can make me happier than reading. I love doing something I have never thought of doing before. Well...except for things that have anything to do with insects, mould and roaches.

Khalid Ibn al-Walid

2010-12-16T16:24:00.001+08:00

Today we were asked to write about the person we admire and I chose Khalid Ibn al-Walid. He was one of the greatest warriors in the History and was called Saifullah which means "The Sword of Allah". He was one of the best horsemen and wrestlers in his time. The reason I had admired him so much was his great determination and sucess. He won in every battle he led, which had made him a hero among the Muslims. It had reached to a point that Umar who was Abu Bakar's sucessor, had to relieve Khalid from supreme command of Muslim Forces and appoint Abu Ubaidah as the new commander in chief of the Islamic army. Umar did that because he thought that Khalid was becoming a 'fitna' to the Muslims and he wanted them to know that it was Allah who had given them victory. Khalid had obeyed his orders and continue to serve the army as an ordinary commander under Abu Ubaidah. Khalid had fought so many battles seeking martyrdom that there were stabbing scars by a spear, a sword or a dagger all over his body. However, he did not get what he had wished for he had died out of an illness. Although I didn't have a chance to see him, I had visited his tomb at the Khalid Ibn al-Walid mosque in Syria. I went to Syria last year during Eidul Adha and perform my Eid prayers at the mosque. He was a great man. May Allah bless him.

Looks Fun :)

2010-12-14T22:22:00.003+08:00

When you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, what's the first thing you say?	I don't say anything.
How much cash do you have on you?	That's super secret ;)
What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"?	Detest.
Favorite planet?	Planet earth, obviously.
Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?	Actually, there's no one on my missed call list. I've cleared the entries.
What is your main ring tone on your phone?	The Ready Set-Love Like Woe
What shirt are you wearing?	Green with white flowers.
Do you "label" yourself?	No. I'm a neutral.
Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing?	Larrie.
Bright or Dark Room?	Dark. Dimly lit, to be precise.
What were you doing at midnight last night?	Watching House alone.
What did your last text message you received on your cell say?	X de papela.
What's a saying that you say a lot?	Ntah.
Who told you they loved you last?	Nobody. I'm ~~unloved.~~ Haha.
Last furry thing you touched?	Kittens. There were three of them.
How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past three Days?	None. I don't do drugs.
How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?	Do I need to remind you that we're in the 21st century?
Favorite age you have been so far?	15.
Your worst enemy?	My dark side.
What is your current desktop picture?	Hills and sky. The window's background?
What was the last thing you said to someone?	Mama, mane mama beli roti yang ade custard dalam die?
If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret?	A million bucks :D
Do you like someone?	No one in particular.
The last song you listened to?	Billionaire by Sam Evans in Glee.

Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet?	Yes.
Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?	Not always.
Do you have a crush on someone?	No.
What is your favorite pizza topping?	Pepperoni and cheese.
Do you crack your knuckles?	I used to. All the time. Now, they're all worn out :((
What song do you hate the most	Black Eyed Peas's - Time
Did just mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head?	YESS! How did you know?
What are your super powers?	I can make vanilla ice cream dissapear :)
Peppermint or spearmint?	Spearmint, of course.
Where are your car keys?	I don't have a car. I have locker keys. Does that count?
Whose answers to this questionnaire do you want to hear?	Mine :DD
What's your most annoying habit?	I fidgeted with my fingers all the time.
Where did you last go on vacation?	To Bali, Indonesia. Or was it Vietnam?
What is your best physical feature?	I honestly don't know.
What CD is closest to you right now?	None. I downloaded songs. Like, illegally.
What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator?	Milk, Cheese and Eye drops.
What superstition do you believe/practice?	I'm not superstitious. So,none.
What color are your bed sheets?	Pale brown with dark brown and red stripes. Boring, I know.
Would you rather be a fish or a bird?	Definitely a bird. Birds are my heroes.
Do you talk on your cell phone when you drive?	I don't drive, duh.
What are your favorite sayings?	What goes around, comes around.
What song(s) do you sing most often in the shower?	I don't sing in the shower.
If you could go back or forward in time,where would you go?	I would go to year 2025 and see who I end up marrying.
What is your favorite Harrison Ford movie?	None!
What CD is in your stereo?	Like I said, I'm an illegal down loader.
What CD will be in your stereo in a few minutes?	You are such a pain!
How many kids do you plan on having?	Two. Or maybe three.
If you could kiss anyone who would it be?	Nobody.
What do you do when no one is watching?	Talk to myself :DD
If they made a movie about your life, what actor/actress would be you?	Adam Young. He's not an actor, though.
Would you rather die in a blaze of glory or peacefully in your sleep?	I don't know. Who cares?
Coffee or Tea	Tea. I'm a caffeine hater.
Have you ever been in love?	Maybe.

Blogger.com

2010-12-12T17:23:00.009+08:00

Greeeat :\ Now my brother and sister are writing blogs

p.s. : the 'sister' my brother mentioned in his blog is NOT me. seriously.

♥ ♥ ♥

2010-12-12T13:20:00.001+08:00

I had just read a post from a friend of mine in which she talked about love. Like I said before, to love is easy but to be in love is hard. The difference of loving and being in love is HUGE! Let's say, Girl loves Guy, but that doesn't mean that she would go and start dating with him. However, if Girl and Guy is in love, there would be dates, lovey-dovey text messages, emails which will eventually lead to... you know. In other word, love is a one-sided action while being in love will need both sides to act. I know that technically, 'in love' has the same meaning with 'love', I'm just trying to make this sound catchy, so please, no complaints :)

Islam does not forbid love because we all know that it's human nature to find a particular person appealing. In fact, there's a story I read in my friend's blog which I had mentioned earlier.

Once upon a time,during the first night of marriage between Fatimah r.a and Saidina Ali r.a; Fatimah had said,"O my dear husband,do u know that before I was married to you, I had admired a man who I think is tough and strong." Saidina Ali eventually turned quite sad and asked his newly-weded wife,"Who is it that you've liked before me..? Am I not the first one in ur heart my dear Fatimah?" However,to Ali's surprise, his dear wife answered,"Ya habibi,it was you who I had been admiring all along!"

This story surely proves something. I know it does, I just can't explain it because I don't quite grasp the concept of love. What I know is, love is something nice and it is not a sin to love. However, we have to control ourselves and avoid things that can lead to Zinaa which is one of the biggest sins. Again, to love is easy but being in love is hard. It is easy to just love someone because it's not wrong. It is hard to be in a romantic relationship with someone because it will lead to sins which is MORE than wrong.

Anyway, the point of me discussing on this subject is partly becuase I hope that maybe this would be helpful for you in dealing with your life. Another part is as a reminder to myself and everybody else who cares :)

Bieber.

2010-12-11T18:20:00.004+08:00

Two days ago during writing class, we had to come up with names of famous people that we hate. Justin Bieber was on everybody's list! I''m so sorry, Bieber. I didn't know how this happened. And of course, the great hate figure, George Bush. There's also a lot of Lady Gagas, Britney Spears and surprisingly, Christiano Ronaldos . He came off as a surprise to me because I always thought people love him. Anyway, we were divided into groups and each group would have to come up with a comic strip. The thing is, we had to use the hate figures as characters in our story. Our group had decided that Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga and George Bush were the ones 'lucky' enough to be starred in our story.

I was the one who had came up with the storyline which was a combination of ideas from my group members. It was short and simple. Bush and his girlfriend, Gaga were driving a car when they crashed into Bieber who was riding a bicycle. Bieber didn't die of course, so Bush and Gaga decided to kill him out of fear that he might tell everyone about the accident. First, they sucked him up with a vaccum cleaner. Unfortunately, he didn't die. Then, they tried feeding him explosives. Again, he didn't die. They pushed him off a cliff next. Still, he didn't die. Bieber got tired of them trying to kill him, so he swallowed them. Bieber was full, and he had to use the toilet. When he had finished his 'business', he accidentally flushed himself. The drainpipe led to the ocean where he drowned to death. That was the end of Bieber.

The title was kinda catchy ; Die Bieber, Die. Haha. That was Brenda's idea. It was horrible and unfair to Bieber, but it was fun and it's not like we really want him to die. It's just for entertainment. Our teacher had actually encouraged us to kill someone in the story. He said, teenagers are usually full of anger and this is one of the ways to channel them out. Everybody had killed Bieber. He was like, the main character in everyone's comic strips. Whatever. Since I had a teeny bit of drawing skills, I was the one who did the artwork. Surely, I had drawn cartoons before, but that was the first time I drew them in forms of comic strips. It was fun :)

Our group won! Jamie (we called our teacher Jamie) said he loved the idea of Bieber being undestructable. He said it was creative. He even showed our work to my drama teacher, Justin. He's always full of praises and that's why I had enjoyed the classes. He also said, we won becuase our story was simple and the drawings were good. Not that good I supposed. I'm not really good in drawing. I draw for the sake of nothing but amusement.

When I got home that day, I taught my little brother how to make a comic strip. I even printed out some comic strips template I found in the internet. His comic title was Ali Baba and The Naughty Monkey. The funny thing is, there wasn't any monkey in his drawings. When my mum pointed this out, he laughed. Haha.

Recently, I got a part in our play for the drama class. Technically, I didn't 'get' the part, I chose the part myself. I was supposed to be Superwoman. Haha. It's stupid, I know, but it was the only character with less emotions and more talking. Justin didn't make us memorise the script, but he said it would help tremendously if we do so I would try my best. No promises though. Blogging is way fun than memorising scripts. I spent my holidays writing. I wrote blogs, essays, stories, poems, anything I could.

Untitled. (again)

2010-12-11T15:21:00.005+08:00

I don't have a plan. Even though I drew maps of my supposedly future, I don't believe any of it will come true. That wasn't my actual plan. It was just, what I thought an appropriate future. I don't even want to go to med school. I didn't really want to be a doctor, but people keep saying that I should be a doctor. Specifically, my parents. Those career tests I took seemed to be saying the same thing. My heart, on the contrary, wants to have a life. Real doctors tell me not to become like them. They say they barely have time for themselves. When they were younger, they're always studying. When they get older, they're always working. I can't live like that. I need a real life. The truth is, my mind was so used to the idea of growing up to become a doctor, that it wouldn't even have the guts to think of some other ambitions.

Maybe in life, we just have to do what we need, not what we want. If I had been living my life with what I want, I wouldn't be stuck in a boarding school, two hundred miles from my home! I wouldn't be studying hard to get good grades in my exams. Heck, I wouldn't even be studying at all. I wouldn't be thinking about my future. Sit back, and relax. We'll see how it turns out. But no. I'm doing the right thing. The only reason I had choosen to suffer was because it was the right thing to do. It was what I needed. At least, I am certain that I've been on the right track. I really hope I won't slip because I had been trying so hard in life. Amiin.

I'm doing my best not to stray, but there's always distractions. Take love for example. Love is the biggest and strongest force ever. If I were to love, before I was meant to, then I'd be doomed. I'm not saying that I'm incaple of love, I'm just saying that I'm incapable of being 'in love'. To love is easy, to be in love is hard. I'm not usually the lovey-dovey type, but personally, I believe in love. I am not denying the wonders and beauty of love. I just think that now is not the right time, especially when I'm only fifteen and there's so much more to see. For now, I would say that being in love is a distraction.

Gosh, this is really embarrassing. However, I feel the need to convey my opinions on this matter in hopes that some would find this inspiring. I don't know. Maybe you would start thinking of how much you have missed in your life because you're too busy searching for love. There are so many things to do. Like trying to find yourself. Figure out who you are and what you want in life :)

Three Things I've Learned Today.

2010-12-07T22:12:00.007+08:00

1. There is no Blackberry center in Malaysia.
2. Laptops come in all shades of pink.
3. Lecka-lecka's coconut ice-cream tastes like sandpaper.

My English Class.

2010-12-06T20:24:00.007+08:00

Salam Ma'al Hijrah :) Woww, it's the new year already!

Today, I want to talk about yesterday. I had such a good time at the english class I took at the Language Studio. The first two hours were spent with writing lessons by our english teacher, Mr Jamie M'Glashan. When I first saw him, I was surprised at how small he is. Of course he's taller and bigger than I am, but still, he's 41. He's great though. He taught us how to make good bullet from green peas in a food fight. If you boil it too long, it will become too soft and will somehow explode in your fingers when you flick it. Our teacher adviced (adviced sounds a bit funny) us to boil it for less than a minute. In my whole fifteen years of living on planet Earth, I've never encounter a teacher who would teach his students how to excel in a food fight. Haha. He also talked about Peter and Jane, the Ladybird book series and how those books can help kids with their Grammar. There's also this Chinese guy, who sort of made fun of him and then Mr. M'Glashan said, "There's a large footprint on your face." And then the guy said "No, there isn't." And then the teacher said, "Not yet." Then he lifted his foot and said, "See my shoe. It's a large size." Haha. I couldn't help but laughed.

We had to write a short essay on what we did the day before in twenty minutes. My essay which looked like a shoebox must be sort of amusing because he smiled all the while reading it. It looked like a shoebox because I wrote it with a pencil, and not a blue gel pen like I usually do. I haven't gone to school for weeks, and my blue pens had all ran out of ink so I had to resort to the world's most unhelpful essay writing utensil : a 2B pencil. He told me my essay was good. His exact words were "You're actually very good." I really hope that's a compliment. Personally, I thought my essay was not like an essay. It was more like a blog post where I write about things that don't matter. Essays are supposed to be about things that really matter. For example,

1.Yesterday, I woke up at 9 and watched Disney Channel with my brother.

instead of

Yesterday, I woke up late and watched Phineas and Ferb until my eyes burn.

2.I slept a bit late last night because I was sick.

instead of

I had trouble sleeping last night because I ate too many cashew nuts for dinner.

3.I got lost because it was my first time going there by foot.

instead of

I kept entering the wrong buildings and my toes almost came off.

After two hours, this really tall guy came into our class. His name was Justin and he's our drama teacher. He's also an actor. As in, in plays and theaters. He's from New York, so his accent doesn't intrigued me like Mr.M'Glasahan's. The latter is from England and he sounded a lot like the twins from Legally Blonde. I had so much fun during the drama lessons. We had to pair up and recite a neutral dialogue, which is a dialogue that has no definite scene. My partner was Merve, a fourteen year old girl. I can't even pronounce her name correctly because it sounded so foreign and new. I didn't learn to pronounce Turkish names in school for crying out loud! At first, I thought she was a Russian because I thought she looked like one. I must be living under a rock, with Patrick Star, cut off from the rest of the human population. I need to be exposed to exotic faces and names like, Bejana, Merve, and Toadette. Toadette is actually a girl name for Toad. Haha.

I had so much fun, I wouldn't mind if I have to spend 25 hours learning nothing but english :)

William Shakespeare.

2010-12-04T19:15:00.009+08:00

Earlier today, I felt like killing Shakespeare.

I had to sit for an English test in order to enroll in the Language Studio holiday programme. Apparently, they had no other topic but Shakespeare and his dumb old theater. I had betrayed the world of poets and writers, by wanting him dead, which is not possible because he's been dead since forever. Surely, people can't die twice, can they? Okay, talking about deaths is creepy and scary. I really wish I can go to Heaven. Amiin. That's what I dream of, but I don't know if what I had been doing on Earth is enough to take me there.

I don't really want to kill Shakespeare. I can't blame him for turning up like a bad penny on my test paper. I can't blame him for all the questions about nothing but him that I had to answer. I can't even blame him if his actions after he left Stratford was a mystery and for the fact that I had spent a whole minute just trying to figure out why it was a mystery. I know I can't blame him for all of the above because he doesn't even know that he was being used as a weapon to make high school students go crazy. I bet he's a nice guy, and that if he knows, what he had unintentionally done to all of us, he wouldn't have gotten so famous in the first place. But then, there wouldn't be any Romeo and Juliet. Macbeth won't exist either. And the same goes for Othello, Hamlet, Midsummer Nights Dream and all the other plays he had written which I don't know of.

The bright side :I learned that Shakespeare was probably the greatest English writer (everybody knows that) and he was the son of a prosperous merchant. I also learned that he married a girl named Anne Hathaway at the age of eighteen. He was born and raised in Stratford, but he left after he wrote a rude poem to a powerful man called, Lord 'whatever his name was'. No one knows what he did after he left Stratford but several years later he started to write plays and become an actor or a 'player' as they called it in those days. He was the leading actors in a company called Lord 'whatever his name was number two' Men. Later, they built a theater called The Globe Theater in London in the year 1599 for an acting company of which he was one of the partners. I even remembered the year it was built. Years later, he died. The end.

Untitled

2010-12-04T18:27:00.005+08:00

What if I can't bounce? What if I'm a baseball when everybody else is a basketball? What if I fall every time I jump when everybody else bounces when they jump? I'm just saying this as a response to a quote I read somewhere. It's okay to jump because the higher you jump, the higher you will bounce. Although, I can't quite recall where I've seen this quote. Well, if it's from any of you, don't be offended.

I do this all the time. I'm almost always disputing the literal meaning in quotes though secretly, I know they are intended to be subtle and indirect. Sometimes, I just wish that those words were not as metaphoric as they are. I know I did say I love metaphors. It's on the right side of the screen on the list of my interests if you don't believe me. However, I only love the fact that they're way too complicated for me to really get a grip on their figurative meaning. I only love them, when I know what they meant. I'm like, stunned at how smart those words are and how my guesses of their actual meanings are usually wrong. Actually, I'm more amazed at how the people who created them in the first place, had managed to somehow extract objects, plants, and sometimes animals, and turn them into quotes with deep meanings.

Take this one for example, 'They were two pools of lies.' How was I, or any people except Bibsy Soenharjo himself were supposed to know what the pools are supposed to mean? Well, actually I did know what they meant because that line came after these two, 'He had such quiet eyes, She did not realize, They were two pools of lies'. Fine. Whatever.

Once, I've gone through a poetic phase. It was the time when I was obsessed with poetry. I wrote as much poems as I could but I never show them to people for the fear of being a laughing stock. My friends think poetry is History but to me, they're mere Art. I was not really good at changing non living objects into life lessons like what all great poets do, but I did try. I'm not going to share with the world what I wrote during my poetry-obsessed phase. It was just another chapter in my boring old book of life. Hey, I've done it. I turned a concrete matter into something abstract :) But again with the books.

Recently I bought Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. The only reason I bought it was because I really love Wuthering Heights and it was written by Emily Bronte which happens to be Charlotte Bronte's sister. I thought that if the sister wrote such great story, her sister must be a brilliant writer too. They did share the same genes after all. I don't know about genes which is really sad since I would have love to learn more on that subject. All I know is, they're great because they're all connected. I love things that connect, or are connected. It's almost magical in my opinion. Yeah, I keep saying that. Magical, magical, magical. I just think that the word magical seems a bit more bogus and Narnia like. Reality is good, but they're plain and they don't sparkle like magic does.

Hospitals

2010-12-02T23:48:00.006+08:00

Because I love hospitals and because I had gone there earlier today, here you go.

this is the hospital :))

my sick dad :((

I'm not into photography and this is only what my Nokia phone can do. It's an E72, but this worthless photo is all it can afford. Blame Nokia for those 5 mega pixels smartphone crap on TV. I'm not allowing myself to swear even if it's not verbally. I think swearing brings negative vibes on this planet Earth, but sometimes I just need to let my emotions flow. I've resorted to cursing with innocent swearing words instead. It's like white lies, except it's white swears. For instance, 'what the hell' could be changed to 'what the heck'. When most people would say 'sweet mother ******* '( even typing those stars makes me feel horrible), we could say 'sweet mother of pearl'. Actually I got that from my six year old brother and he got that from Spongebob. I told you before, TV can be a good teacher sometimes. I learn most "white swears" from him. He would say 'barnacle' when most people would just mutter 'shit' under their breaths. Those words just don't make sense but it does no harm, so who cares?

Anyway, I started the day with, guess what? The good old television. Yess. I watched Cadet Kelly for the hundredth times! I don't even know why I watched it over and over again. I was bored and I did feel like getting up and switching the channel but I didn't. It's like my hands were tied up and my whole body was glued to the sofa. I didn't even liked the movie, I've watched it too many times to like it anymore. I could practically memorize Hillary Duff's line. Last night, when we were so bored and the movies on TV are mostly from the Bronze Ages, we rummaged through the stacks of DVD's in hopes of finding something worth watching for two long hours just to kill our boredom. Even with about a hundred DVD's, with good movies like Avatar, X-men, and the all time favourite, Harry Potter, we ended up watching Legally Blonde. As if having to watch everything perky and happy wasn't enough, I had to bear the awfully heavy British accent the twins were using. It's like mental torture, but I can't make myself turn off the DVD player. It's almost like the TV was a force that keeps my poor brain obey it's orders. Go watch the twins do a 'flip and smile'. Go watch Hillary Duff until your eyes pop out. Uggh, I feel like smashing the TV itself, but that would never happen because :

10 Reasons I could not smash the TV into pieces although I hate it :

1. It cost thousands and that would be a waste of money.

2. I can't watch Starworld or AXN.

3. I think flat screens are elegant electronic devices.

4. The living room would not be a living room without a TV.

5. How am I supposed to watch DVD with only the DVD player and no TV.

6. I can't watch the news. Wait, I don't watch the news. So, this doesn't count.

7. Play stations are useless without TV. They're like, a mouth without a throat.

8. The house would be a mess and I'm too tired to clean it up.

9. There would no longer be 'movie nights' with my family. I love those nights :)

10. The TV is not mine.

Now, I don't even know what today's post is about. One second I'm talking hospitals, and the next thing you know, there's a whole list about TV. Ignore me. I'm being me again.

Okay, so.. I went to the hospital because my dad had gastric pains and he had to be, umm, I don't know what the doctors had done to him but it's a good thing. I know, because that's what doctors do. The good thing. Thing that saves lives. So, like I said, I am very interested in hospitals. I love the scent of medicines and bleach. The floors were so shiny, that I could almost see myself if I stare long enough. I love hospitals because they remind me of the colour white, everything so fresh and new and clean. That's also partly why I decided to stay when everybody else was going home. I was lucky enough that my sister had decided to join me in relishing the beauty of sickness. Not literally,duh. The main part of why I had decided to stay was because I felt sorry for my dad. My mum was at work, and he had to stay there all by himself. I went to the Ampang Point mall while waiting for him to finish the 'whatever the doctors did' and then I went back and stayed there with my sister who turned out to be quite generous after all. Oh yeah, and by the way, the hospital is called Ampang Puteri Specialist Hospital. It was the hospital where I was born and where I had my ear surgery. I have always loved that hospital, but since they painted it blue, my fondness seems to have died down by 20%. When I grow up and everything, I want to work at hospitals. Lately, I've been thinking of becoming a psychiatrist. A shrink, yes. The problem is, I took a career test last month, and I don't have what it takes to become one. Apparently, I lack in social skills. Hey, I can dream, can't I? I mean, it's not like I know for sure what the future has in store for me. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Dreams

2010-11-30T14:54:00.002+08:00

This is what a friend of mine, Ikram, wrote on his blog : When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our answers were thing like astronaut, president, or in my case…a paid comedian (what the heck??I know...)..So when we were ten, they asked again the same question and we answered - rock star, cowboy, or in my case, a superhero(dont judge me..xP).... But now that we've grown up,they keep asking the same old question but they demands a serious answer. Well, how 'bout this : who the hell knows??

This is what I have to say : Ever since I was five or maybe, three, I have always wanted to be a doctor. My friends, however, had weird ambitions like becoming soldiers, actresses, cops or even superheroes (in Ikram's case). I was the one whose feet was on the ground even when I was a kid. I was so used to actually being in this world that I didn't allow myself to dream of the impossible. Or in Barney Stinton's word, Possimpable. Now that I'm all grown up, I realized what I had been missing as a child. Dreams. Kids are amazing creatures. They're easily influenced by those 'ever afters' stories from glossy pages with pictures of Princess Blondie and Prince Hottie. They think of happy thoughts, which explains why they act as if the whole universe revolves around them. They dream all they want and believe those big ambitions of theirs may come true someday. If I could turn back time, I would tell my younger self to dream and not be afraid of them not becoming true. It's a stupid topic to talk about. Dreams. Yess, I am fully aware of me being simply absurd but hey, i have no fear of ridicule this time. I believe in dreams as much as I believe that the green grass would turn brown if a wooden plank is placed on it for a couple of weeks. I believe in dreams as much as I believe that the colours of a rainbow are red, orange, yellow, green, blue, violet and indigo. I believe in dreams as much as I believe that the ocean is salty. I love making comparisons :) My school principal used to say, Dream. Desire. Vision. I liked those words. Especially the first out of the three. Dream,dream,dream. Dreams are like paintings and we're the artists. We paint whatever we like with whatever colours we choose.

My Days As A Failure

2010-11-30T13:48:00.005+08:00

It's school holiday and I've failed. I convinced my six year old brother to enter the Disney's So Syok competition- a decision which I later regret- because he looked like he had nothing else to do. Well, he got so excited, that he immediately wanted me to sign up for him on the internet. I was happy for my brother had at last, find something that can bring him benefits during this endless school holidays. What I didn't know is that, the competition begins at 1 until 7. Yess! Six hours of nothing but TV? That is going to make his poor little six year old mind goes numb, and I'm not exaggerating. Things like this happens. I once read in a magazine about a girl who went nuts due to excessive TV watching. It's not like I know for sure this story is true, but it is possible. I'm not really a fan of TV myself, but i do enjoy it's company sometimes. Sure enough, there are shows that I love watching but I'm not overly addicted to the TV. I used to watch every single episode of Merlin, but now that Merlin is no longer aired, which is really devastating, I'm currently not following any TV shows. Anyway, my brother would become so excited when the clock strikes one, he would stop playing computer games and starts to bug me about switching the channel to Disney. Haha. I used to be like him too, entering Disney's competitions. I used to win gifts too. It was really awesome. Once, I won a High School Musical album with the autographs of Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens ,Lucas Gabreel and Ashley Tisdale on the cover. It was one of my prized possessions. Was. Now, I don't really care about High School Musical. I think itis kids stuff.

My hands itch like crazy. There are spots everywhere on my palms, fingers, wrists. I think I may have allergies but I don't know what cause them. I had dinner at Dorset Hotel a couple days ago and I woke up the next day with spots on my right palm. I think I may have eaten something that night which made those annoying little spots grow on my flesh. I don't know for sure, what had actually cause it since I ate all kinds of stuffs that night. It was a buffet so there was almost everything. I had Shepherd's Pie, Spaghetti with Carbonara Sauce, Potatoes, Breaded Chicken's Breast and even Sushi. And then there's dessert.. I can't even remember what I had for dessert. Maybe I'm allergic to consuming many types of food at the same time. Or maybe it wasn't the food. Maybe it was the duck. I touched the duck, but I didn't eat it. That explains why the spots showed up only on my hands. Frankly, I never really fancy ducks. I love red meat. Why am I even talking about food? I am so ending this one sided conversation. So, that's all I have to say. Goodbye and salam.

10 Reasons I Change My Blog Template

2010-11-26T22:36:00.008+08:00

1. My friends complained that the previous layout had the tiniest font ever and it's hard for them to read the posts.

2. I want to be the one who likes to try new things.

3. I simply love polka dots.

4. The old blog looked like a flyer, or at least that's what my friend, Naqib said.

5. The new one looks a bit 'happier'

6. People can't follow me on the former blog because there's no 'follow' link.

7. I think I love owls now.

8. I can't have a background music in my old blog.

9. I accidentally came across this site where all templates are simply gorgeous.

10. I switch to a new design because I'm so good :DD

Hahaha

2010-11-25T11:57:00.005+08:00

I love conversations through mediums of technology : facebook, myspace, im's, and the good old email. These things made me sound happier as I can always fake a laughter just by typing four words, H-A-H-A. Then, I can fool people with smiles with smileys like :). See? It is so easy to be happy in the computer. In real conversations, where there are real people who would actually converse, I find it hard to make myself seem a bit more, light and cheerful. Sometimes, I try to fake laughters, but it sounds bogus. It sounded more of a donkey braying, than an actual laughter. I don't have a good sense of humour, that's what my friends told me. My mum, instead, would never say that. Like, what mother would tell her daughter she's boring and monotonous. Actually, I laugh a lot. It's just that, things that my friends often find funny doesn't seem to make me laugh. What I find amusing, however, do not appear to be so to my friends. It doesn't really matter. I love laughters. I think they are magical. I could sit at home, alone, and watched How I Met Your Mother and not laugh at Barney doing slap bets with Ted, but when I watched it with my brothers and sister, I laughed a lot. It's not because I think it's funny, it's only because they're laughing and that makes me want to laugh along. Well, you know what they say, laughter is contagious. That's what so amazing about laughter. Sometimes, in class, when one of the boys makes funny remarks on a subject, which i totally have no idea what he's talking about, my classmates would burst into laughters. Although I haven't a single clue about what's going on, I laugh too, just because everyone is laughing and that gives me so much pleasure. It makes me want to laugh along and join the happy crowd. Happiness is always so compelling. Smiles, Laughters and Lots of People. Well, combine the three of them and you got a Happy Meal.

An Exhausting Day

2010-11-24T23:44:00.013+08:00

Today i woke up at the sound of my phone's alarm at eight, only to sleep again and woke up again at nine. After breakfast, I watched Ugly Betty on Starworld, laughed a little and fell in love with Marc. Not that sort of love, the sort when you like watching a character on a TV show. That kind of love. I had plans to go out with my friends at Times Square this morning, so I walked to the LRT station and the next thing I knew, I was already at Times Square, wandering around like a madman. My friends haven't arrived yet, but that didn't bother me as I'm always better off alone, even when it comes to shopping. I even bought myself a handbag as a proof to that. When everybody was finally there, we played two rounds of bowling. Actually, the 'we' didn't really include me as I am horrible when it comes to throwing a seven kilogrammes ball across a really slippery floor so that those white headed bottle-shaped pins would come down. I would rather sit in a corner, texting my other friend while everybody was having such a great moment. Actually, that was a lie. According to them, it was not great. I was walking around so fast, that my legs were benumb and I can scarcely walk properly. Lucky for me, I opted for the pumps, and not the leg-killing, heels-cracking, bones-breaking, spine-bending (for those with scoliosis) tiring, heels. Heels can be a good friend, or a bad enemy. I don't even know why I'm quoting from the Phantom of The Opera textbook. I always think lines from classic books are way too tacky for our so called modern era. Well, they may not have the time of their life, but I did. Or at least that's what I keep telling myself. Guess what? I almost cried when I saw what happened to Borders. They move it to the Lower Ground floor where lame stores like KFC and Guardian were. I almost burst in tears when I saw how pathetic Borders-which is supposedly the largest bookstore in this country -were. They reduced the used to be massive bookstore into a small one that can only fit in two people at a time. Nah, I was exaggerating. It is tiny, but not to that extend. The point is, my favourite place in this whole wide world, apart from hospitals, had shrink down to the size of an anthill! That's something intolerable, if you ask me. I can't do anything though, since I'm a mere schoolgirl with no money and dreams I can't fulfill. Maybe next time when I go out, I'll go to KLCC instead. Kinokuniya can do me wonders too. Anyway, my mum picked me up at seven. It was running late, and the traffic was just awful. I had to walk a few miles and wait at a corner, during twilight, so that my mum won't have to go through all those horrible traffic jams. My mum kept telling me to wait in a place where there were people around since it's getting dark but I can't find a spot where there's actually people standing. What I did next is a bit stupid though. I walked a few paces, following any passer-by who passed me by the corner I was standing at. I crossed the road to the other side of the pavement, simply following the passer-by, and then I walked back to my spot. Every time I saw a person walking pass, i would follow them and then head back to my spot. It sounded crazy, I know, but it's the only way I could ever feel safe. My definition of safe is when you're doing something and not noticing the dangers around you. A pretty awful definition of safe, don't you think? Well, everyone has their own perspectives.

Oh, I'm forgetting something. Dear Zahidah, Bella, Izzah, Izzi, Mastura, Anirah, Emir, Ali, Syamil, Nafis, Syamil, Naqib, Zul and Amirul, thank you for a splendid day :))

Pretend

2010-11-22T23:39:00.006+08:00

Pretending not to know that someone you love has died, so you keep on waiting for him to come home with a heart full of hope. Pretending not to know that people are making fun of your favourite three year old sweater so you keep on wearing it forever. Pretending not to know that your best friend is a murderer, so you keep on being friends as if there's nothing wrong. Pretending not to know that you're living next to a bunch of aliens who'd probably zap you up to space. Okay, maybe that is a bit too overrated. All my life, I've been hiding under a shield. A shield to protect me from truths that'll probably hurt. I chose to live in a place where nothing ever bothered me. Ignorance is a good shield. Probably the best. It had done a perfect job of shielding me from thoughts of others which may or may not cause me pain. I chose to ignore all the bad sides and only look at the good side. I'm not an optimist, I'm just a coward. I can't make myself face the ugly truths, so I pretended they were never there in the first place. I was living a life I thought was perfect,until.. Until I decided I had enough. Until I decided that I have to throw away the shield, and starts using a sword instead. I have to fight off the hurtful things so that they would no longer hurt. Face it. And that's how I realize how difficult life can be. Yesterday, for instance, I went to a bookstore and shrieked at the sight of a new shopaholic book. The old me, won't care if the cashier are staring at me like I'm retarded, or if the guy behind me starts to distance himself as if I had some contagious disease. The new me though, the one which is not holding a shield, started to feel embarrassed. I put away the book, and walked away quietly. You don't have to understand. I'm talking rubbish. Anyway, my cousins are going back to Australia. Correction. Had gone back. Yeah, we sent them at the airport and watch them go, with tearful eyes. Nah, we didn't cry but we did feel sad. It's like another year, before we can meet them again. We've been exchanging emails though, and that's better than not hearing at all. Thanks to this modern technology, we can also call each other on Skype. Actually, currently, I'm lacking of ideas on what to blog about. So,that's it for now. Goodbye. Wassalam :))

A Dream I Had

2010-11-22T00:11:00.004+08:00

Dreams are supposed to be kept a secret, or so I was told. So here I am, breaking all the unwritten rules because this dream is way too good. Last night, I dreamt of Dean and Sam. Yess,the ones from Supernatural, but they were just kid; Dean,being a bit older than me and Sam, being.. Well,he's being a kid. The weird thing is, they had a stepmother, a very nice one i would add, and surprisingly, no father. I have no idea where he had gone to, but he's just not there. The dream began when Dean died in a snowstorm. We were all devastated, me being the siser was deeply in remorse and started to cry. Suddenly,everything was in reverse. It's like going back in time. And suddenly, there I was, in a basketball court with little Sam, clinging to my hand. I knew that a snowstorm was coming and it was going to kill Dean so I had asked him to come home. I can't tell him that he was going to die, because I can't. I have absolutely no idea why, I just can't. In my dream, I had known why, but I forgot when I woke up this morning. I asked him to come home with me but he refused. He said he was playing -he's wearing a red jersey with numbers i can't recall- and he can't just stop the whole game. I was so desperate to get him out of the place that I had begged him to come home with me. On my knees, in my own dream. I was pleading so hard, and finally, he did stop playing. He explained to his friends that he had to go, but just when he was about to walk towards me, the ground shakes and the it opened up. Snow started to flow from under the basketball court. I know it's just not possible, but hey, this is a dream after all. I was so scared because I knew that Dean was going to die, so I grabbed their hands and ran as fast as I could until we reached Dean's car. It was the same car he drives in TV, but the car was filled with snow so we kept on running, until we reach the house where their stepmother is cooking. It was funny though, that the house was safe from the unnatural disaster. And oddly, their stepmother doesn't feel like my stepmother although we're supposed to be brothers and sisters. And then the scary part came. Suddenly it hit me. A life must be replaced with another life. I don't know how lines from Merlin came into this dream. It just did. And that I told Sam, but not Dean. We're both thinking of the same thing. Our stepmother. So,that's how it ended. I woke up feeling with a feeling I can't explain. The End.

Pessimistic or Just True.

2010-11-13T19:08:00.004+08:00

Life is easy. Living a life is like breathing. Everything comes naturally. All you have to do is just wake up every morning and sleep every night. You will be okay.

Fact : Life is as hard as building the Great Wall of China. Wait, harder. You fall all the time. Get hurt. Again and again. I remembered watching Batman where Bruce's father asked him, "Why do we fall?" Well, the answer is, "To learn to pick ourselves up". Sometimes, TV can be a good teacher.

Follow your dreams. Let your heart guide you and do whatever it wants. Listen to yourself. Do whatever you want, not what you are told to.

Fact : Don't follow your heart, use your brains! Your heart wants nothing but pure pleasure. If what your heart wants does not contradicts with your beliefs, then it's okay :)

Nothing is impossible. Impossible is nothing. You can do anything.

Fact : That's a lie. Try reading 100 novels in one hour. Trust me. You'll never succeed.

Say

2010-11-07T09:51:00.004+08:00

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead,
If you could only
Say what you need to say

You Don't Have To Read This

2010-11-06T17:47:00.004+08:00

There's just so much to say now. My cousins from Australia is back home for three weeks. It's great, I know. We haven't see each other for two years. I can't believe how fast they grow. They went to our house yesterday and slept for one night. Actually, that wasn't the plan but somehow they did, and it was great! Haha. Let's see, what else happened. Yeah, I went out with my friends from school-which is the first time-and we went to Sunway Pyramid. We went ice skating, had this weird food called 'Hot and Roll' which taste great but made my throat burns due to excess black pepper and exhaust our legs walking from stores to stores searching for the right gifts for the "tukar-tukar hadiah" thing. I bought an Adidas shoe bag and a pair of Adidas socks. Wait. Don't ask me why. That's what he asked for. Socks. Weird huhh? Well, guys are always weird. The dinner is supposed to be on next Tuesday but the date is not yet decided. Yesss, everything's undecided these days. Just like me. But of course, no one can be decided about anything. Our job is to plan and work but Allah is the one who decides. And everything Allah decides is always the best for us. So, if we had plan hard and give up all our efforts, but it didn't turn out the way we want to, do not despair. Allah has better plans for us. A friend of mine gave me a text message. It sounded something like this :
I asked Allah for a beautiful flower, but He gave me a cactus. I asked Allah for a butterfly, but He gave me a hairy caterpillar. I was sad and dejected..
But then, the cactus starts blooming beautiful flowers. The caterpillar turns into a beautiful butterfly. When we are feeling down and losing hope, do not despair for Allah has something better in store for us :)
That's what phones should be used for. Text inspirational messages, don't you think? And that's what friendship should be about. Reminding one another. Well, that is all for now. Assalamualaikumwarahmatullahiwabarakatuh.

Thought Of The Day

2010-11-06T16:13:00.003+08:00

Narrated by 'Aisha (the wife of the Prophet), Allah's Apostle said, No calamity befalls a Muslim but that Allah expiates some of his sins because of it, even though it were the prick he receives from a thorn.

Hello

2010-11-06T15:52:00.006+08:00

Let me tell you a story of my life. My name is Ainaa Najihah. I am a servant of Allah. I am thankful to Allah for all the things bestowed upon me. Alhamdulillah. I am content with what I have but I will put all my effort to gain more in my current life on Earth. I really love my father, mother and my brothers and sister. I wish to see them succeed in their life on Earth and the hereafter. My mother is the best person I have ever meet in my past, present and -insyaallah-future life. My father is a terrific father too. I am a student in a boarding school in Selangor. I used to hate my school and masked all the great things at school with my intense hatred, but now I regret doing so. I now realize that there are more to it than just a school. It is a place where I have learned so much. The school is where I learn that friends are a great thing in my life. That without them, I just can't live like a normal being. I learn that study is not the only thing I'll need. I learned that life is only worth living if I live for others. I have to live my life for Allah, for Islam, for my family, for my country but not for me. Yes. Never for me. Of course at times I would do something for the sake of myself but I am trying not to. I love my teachers. I learned that I am better than no one. I used to think that just because I aced my exams, I'm better than my friends. I was wrong. TOTALLY WRONG. Everyone is better than me. If one of them is not doing so good in her studies, she maybe great in swimming or drawing. I am better than no one. Yes. That's what I've been trying to tell myself every time my head "grows big".

...My Lord, indeed I am, for whatever good You would send down to me, in need. (24 : 28 Al-Qasas)

Zia Ul-Ikmal

2010-11-06T15:30:00.005+08:00

I've received a bad news. A friend of mine, Zia Ul-Ikmal passed away on November 4th in an accident. He was riding a motorcycle with his four year old brother and Nafis, a classmate of mine when he lost control and hit a signboard. His brother, too passed away, but Nafis only suffered a few injuries. I was shocked when I first heard the news. I thought they were playing pranks on me, but when I called my class teacher to confirm the story, it is true.. Al-Fatihah. Innalillahiwainnailahirrajiun. Though we weren't close friends, but being in the same class for three years and having to see each other almost everyday sure made us good friends. I am going to miss him. I am terribly sad and devestated to hear such news. I didn't even had the chance to visit his family. I pity his mom. Having lost two children at the same time. Allah is testing her iman and she must have been a person with a strong heart because Allah will not burden a person with something that he is not able to bear. I have learned so much from this incident. When he was around, I never really appreciate him like a friend should. We should appreciate others while there is still time to do so. I tend to take what I have for granted. The saying is true, "you'll never miss the water until it's gone". From now on, I'll do my best to learn to appreciate what I have. Most of the times, I always thought that there is still time. But not now. I have learned that death can come at anytime even if you're only 15. Everone WILL die, so we have to make as much preparations to face death and the hereafter. Allah has planned everything and there are always blessings behind everything. I really hope I can meet him again in the hereafter. He will always be my friend. May he be among those who are blessed by Allah and may he be placed in Al-Jannah. Amin.

there goes my worries.

2010-10-30T09:29:00.004+08:00

Nothing to say. Nothing to say. Haven't blogged for months. Now that PMR is finally over (which is a great relief, alhamdulillah), I am able to do other things which have been abandoned for six months. I haven't played basketball for six months. I haven't have debate practices for six months. I haven't bathe for six months. Kidding. Bathing is a necessity for me. I bathe twice a day when I went camping. Campers were supposed to bathe once a day or maybe once for two days. Haha. I'm such a loser when it comes to camping. Well, cleanliness is part of one's iman, right? Anyway, now that PMR is finally over, I think I've been wasting my time and that is not a good thing. I've been extremely busy with all the so called "post-PMR activities". There's debate competitions, research and development competitions, water rocket launching competitions, english drama competitions, netball match, football match, rugby match... the list could go on for hours. I can't wait for school to be over! Time seems too short. It seems like only yesterday I was busy studying for PMR. I think it's a sign that our world is coming to an end. This makes me feel scared, so let us all pray that we can all go to al-Jannah. Amiin. Of course, we have to do as many good deeds as we can. Hmm, the purpose of me blogging for today is only because I'm tired of seeing the same thing on my blog. So, that's all for now. Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.

2010-09-08T16:45:00.004+08:00

to my dear friends who is facing PMR and fighting for the cause of Allah,
here's a little something that might help in your Arabic exam.

Arab2u

Earth is a happy place.

2010-09-08T15:53:00.003+08:00

When I was doing what I'm always doing, browsing the net, I found one of my schoolmate's blog. Here's the link: MySchoolmate I like what he wrote. So, maybe his language and usage of words are a bit emm, how do I put this.. Inappropriate, but we're here to look at the points not the words. In future, I'll share more links so all of you can broaden your knowledge and view the world from much more perspectives. You canNOT see the whole planet Earth from one angle. You have to view it from different points. Then,you'll get the real pictures, but since the Earth is the size of billions of elephants combined together, you will never see the real picture, or if you do see it, you may not know that what you see is the real world. The world will always be deceiving. It will always be a test to all of us. People will strive to attain their desires. Be it fame, riches or even status, we would do almost anything and would give up at almost nothing."Know that the life of this world is only a sport and a pastime, and an adornment, and a source of boasting among yourselves, and of rivalry in multiplying riches and children. It is like the rain, the vegetation produced whereby rejoices the tillers. Then it dries up and thou seest it turn yellow; then it becomes worthless stubble. And in the Hereafter there is severe punishment for the wicked and also forgiveness from ALLAH, and His pleasure for the righteous. And the life of this world is nothing but temporary enjoyment of delusive things." 19: Al-Hadid

What we should aim for is none other than the blissfulness of life in the Hereafter. And we, my muslim brothers and sisters, should protect ourselves from the lies and deceptions the Earth brings. And people these days are beginning to question wether the Dajjal is here. These questions cannot be answered as we, ourselves do not have knowledge of it. Wallualam bissawab. However, we can protect ourselves from this creature as said by the Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h.

Abu Darda’ reported Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) as saying: If anyone learns by heart the first ten verses of the Surah al-Kahf, he will be protected from the Dajjal.

goodness.

2010-09-06T21:59:00.005+08:00

I like what I see,and I hope that's what I'll get in the real thing. Or maybe more. Hey,I've found the perfect answer to one of my life's biggest questions. I can't tell you what the question is, but the answer is to sleep early. No,it's true. At home, the earliest I sleep is at 12.00. That what makes me miserable on the next day. I woke up with blood shot eyes, sore as a result of staring at the computer screen, tv screen and phone screen for hours without ever seeing a single green. You see, that's the problem with technology. They all come with LCD's and flat screens that makes people eyes in intense torment. It's like they're doing it on purpose of tiring our eyes, making us feel exhausted and miserable when we woke up the next day. They strained our eyes so hard that the eyes' muscle pulled all the muscles in our body. I don't know why they're doing this. Yeah, to get money of course. Money never completes our life. If you think money is everything,well think again. Money is nothing but papers. Papers that can be torn, burn, shred to pieces, decompose, soaked in water, bleached with Clorox, or maybe eaten by a goat. Goat eat papers and money are from papers, so there. But deeds aren't. Deeds are something that you need. That's what you and I have to put all our effort on. We have to gather as much deed as we can so we can achieve our goal.

Speaking of deeds.. When I was little, I used to read Enid Blyton's. There's a story about passing on good deeds that I still remember up to now. The story goes when a boy was in trouble and a kind old man helped him, but when the boy thanked him, he said something like, "it's okay, boy. just pass the good deed around and tell the people to keep passing it". Then, the boy helped his friend to get a marble which rolled into a locked shop. His friend helped an old woman picked up her clothes, or something like that. The woman then visit a sick old man and brought him soup. The man happens to be the owner of a toy store. When he recovers, he gave a clockwork train to his worker (you know how Enid Blyton's stories are full of clockwork trains)as a present for the worker's son. And the worker happens to be the boy's father. That is how the story goes. And then there's the famous quote, "what goes around comes around". Life is always about giving and taking. If you're nice and warm, you'll see that people treat you nicely and warmly too. So, you will regard the world as a happy place, but if you're cold and rude, people will treat you the same way. That is why you would see the world as a horrible place to live in.

The world is like a mirror. If you dressed up nicely, you'll see a beutiful image in the mirror. If you're all messy and dirty, you'll see an ugly picture. It's as simple as that. Or is it? I don't know. I cannot speak for all the human population on the Earth. I represents only me. I don't know what to say anymore. I write because I love to. My hobby used to be writing and reading. Don't get me wrong they still are my hobbies now, but I've found another interest that is, sharing. Yeah, I love to share now. Knowledge are meant to be share,right? That's why my blog is no longer private and contains much more information (i hope so). And that is also why I put up hadiths and verses from the Quran.

Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Amr: The Prophet said, "Convey (my teachings) to the people even if it were a single sentence..

2010-08-28T09:18:00.002+08:00

I've been busy these days. My homework had piled up almost to the height of my chest. Nah, that's not possible. My teachers are not that evil. They're dedicated educators and they wish to see us succeed and bring pride and glory to our school. Thank you teachers :) My teachers gave me a moderate amount of homework which I find hard to complete, but like I said earlier ; Everything is hard at first, but if you keep practicing, it will become effortless. Insyaallah. I have two sets of Islamic Study worksheets and three sets of Arabic model tests to finish. I know that seem easy, but for me it requires a big effort to write three Arabic essays. Our current exam format requires us to write essays in Arabic. I don't mind writing despite how difficult it can be. We also need to learn Arabic Nahu (Grammar) as there are questions that test our Nahu skills. The new exam format is totally different from the former. The previous one was quite easy and less challenging. They changed the format this July. Can you believe it? We're having the exam in early October and they changed it in July. I really hope I'll ace Arabic. Amiin. Gosh, I'm so nervous, sometimes I speak fast and my friends can't understand a word I said. Sometimes, words don't come out my mouth the way I want them to. Most of the times, I kept quiet. Some of my friends may have noticed the change in my mood, but most of them said nothing. I'm so sorry if my behavior lately is irking, but it can't be helped. I'm sure every 15 year olds in Malaysia feel what I feel. Good luck to you guys. May Allah bless your efforts and grant your wishes :))

2010-08-28T08:57:00.006+08:00

There are many sisters who have failed to understand the actual meaning of Hijab. To observe proper Hijab is to dress up oneself modestly and appropriately covering all parts of body except face and forearms, without showing one's figure or curves and without using any sort of make-up.

Hijab is one of the righteous deeds and it is a sign of honor and equality with men and stands as a shield of protection against evil man.

Those who reject Hijab and wish to attract men are suffering from inferiority complex. They believe men are superior and in order to overcome this feeling, they use their feminine charms. But why should a Muslim woman have such a feeling when she is fully aware of her equality with men?

Hijab, therefore, has such benefits as a guard against any assault, equality with men, air of respect and honor and most important of all, obedience to Allah (SWT) which is equivalent to blood of martyr. Hijab requires women to avoid any sort of attraction to men.

We have many Muslims sisters who are more concerned to please themselves and their non-believer friends than Allah (SWT). Let us not forget the purpose of our existence, which is to cultivate love and affection for Allah in our heart and not for anything else. How can we create that love when we disobey Him? Adoration and affection come from the heart and those who truly love Allah (SWT) will not do anything contrary to this.

copied from:http://www.ezsoftech.com/Akram

2010-08-28T08:40:00.009+08:00

This is something creative. Enjoy!

2010-08-28T08:14:00.006+08:00

This is a nasyid we often sing in my school. I love this song for it conveys a great message about the brotherhood in islam. ( or in my case, sisterhood (; ) I'm sorry for this song is not available in English. This song is actually a du'a called du'a rabitah.

Hati ini telah bersatu
Berkumpul di perut bumiMu
Hati ini telah berpadu
Bersatu memikul beban dakwahMu

Hati ini telah mengikat setia
Untuk mendaulat
Untuk Mendokong syariatMu di alam maya
Maka ya Allah.. eratkanlah ikatan yang ada

Kekalkan kemesraan yang ada
Tunjukkanlah jalan yang benar
Tunjukkanlah dengan cahayaMu
Tiada malap terangi alamMu

Hidup suburkanlah dengan ma’rifatMu
Tapi jika ingin mematikannya
Matikanlah sebagai syuhada’
Dalam perjuangan menegakkan agama yang mulia

I love the last two lines. That is what we, as muslims should wish for. Narrated 'Abdullah: I asked the Prophet "Which deed is the dearest to Allah?" He replied, "To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents" I again asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He replied, 'To participate in Jihad (religious fighting) in Allah's cause." 'Abdullah added, "I asked only that much and if I had asked more, the Prophet would have told me more."

2010-08-27T08:54:00.002+08:00

I've been listening to "We're are brothers and sisters". I love the song. It carries a deep meaning. It potrays the unity of Islam, if you listen to the words carefully. "We are brothers, we are sisters
facing one qiblah, we should feel for one another, share the fear and hope, in this small world we share, we are brothers and sisters, lend your hand together". Great kids with super talent :) I'm all alone today. My parents are working. My brothers and sisters are on their mission for success, or in other words; SCHOOL! haha. I'm left at home with Bibik Titi and my grandmother but I can't find both of them. Maybe they're upstairs. I don't really mind being alone. In fact, I enjoy solitude. Most of the times, not all the time. I'm not a loner. I'm not an introvert. I'm just a person with a heart that loves peace and quiet. I love friends too, but quiet ones. Or, maybe loud ones. Wait, I love everyone. They're my brothers and sisters of Islam so I should love them equally. Hmm, that's hard,eh? Everything is hard at first, but if you keep practising, it will become effortless. Insyaallah.

Narrated by Abu Huraira(r.a): The Prophet (pbuh) said: "A Muslim is a Muslim's brother; he does not wrong him or abandon him. If anyone cares for his brother's need, Allah will care for his need; if anyone removes his brother's anxiety, Allah will remove from him one of the anxieties of the Day of Resurrection; and if anyone conceals a Muslim's secret, Allah will conceal his secret on the Day of Resurrection."
(Bukhari, Muslim).

2010-08-27T06:55:00.006+08:00

Ahlan Wasahlan Ramadhan! It's already 16th of Ramadhan, but this is my second day fasting at home with my beloved family :) My dad bought air kelapa, which is my favourite drink. I had a pleasant fast breaking yesterday. My grandmother made sup tulang which I ate with kicap-a necessity in my meals. Let's not talk about eating, shall we? Well, I didn't go to terawih because I was so tired after three long hours of journey back home. I performed my terawih at home instead. Alone. Everybody else went to the mosque except for Bibik Titi. She did hers at home too. I've been enjoying this Ramadhan. Personally, I think this is the best Ramadhan in my 15 years of living on Earth. Alhamdulillah, Allah had given me the opportunity of facing the blessed month this year. I wish I would be rewarded with such chance next year. Amiin.

Narrated by Abu Huraira(r.a): The Prophet (pbuh) said: "Whoever fasts during Ramadan out of sincere faith and hoping to attain Allah's rewards, then all his past sins will be forgiven."
(Sahih Al-Bukhari).

2010-08-27T06:42:00.010+08:00

A performance by my school's nasyid group called Az-Zhafran.

2010-07-10T00:49:00.002+08:00

my biggest fear is katsaridaphobia (to emphasize on the word 'biggest' i've used a bigger font). don't ask me. it's one of the many fears you can't pronounce. if someone put a loaded gun to my head and threatened to pull the trigger if i choose not to swim in a pool of cockroaches, i think i would see dying as a preferable option. everyone has their own fears. batman used to be afraid of bats. though i would never want to be a roachwoman, i really hope that someday, this fear of mine will fade away or evaporate with time. when i was scrolling to the never-ending pages of fears in hopes of finding the cure to overcome this intense katsaridaphobia, i found another kind of fear which i think may have been the cause of the peculiar feeling i have whenever i see stale bread and sour milk. it's called seplophobia, which, in English, means fear of decaying matter. yeah, i think i may have some of that too. i went to the pasar malam early this day because i need a long skirt, and also because i'm so good. but mostly, it was because i need a skirt. it was not raining. well, technically, it is, but i don't think a few drops of tears from the poor, melancholic clouds above can barely drain your shirts. so, no, that's not rain. i don't even know why i breached up on this topic. blah.blah.blah. thank you, kesha :)

2010-06-18T01:41:00.002+08:00

Hello, readers of my so-called blog! I've got a little bit of something for you.

http://www.85qm.de/up/BigRedButton.swf

Go on. Click it. You know you want to.

2010-06-18T01:16:00.002+08:00

I think there's something wrong with myself. I have absolutely no idea why, but I feel weird. I did stupid, useless things, but I enjoyed doing so. This evening, I spend (or waste) my time, trying not to think about purple monkeys. It's tougher, than it sounds. I keep thinking of them no matter how hard I tried not to. I've tried a dozen of times, but I failed. I had a tad fun though :) Wait, this is not stupid. This is an inspirational activity. Let me finish the story..
Then, an idea crossed my mind. I thought, what if I think about pink monkeys, instead? That way, images of purple monkeys won't come leaping into my head. Guess what? It worked. Okay, what's so inspirational about this? Well, I have learned that if you want to get over with something, stop thinking about it and stop trying not to think about it. To do that, you have to find distractions, so that they can divert your attention somewhere else. Maybe you could sew, ride a bike or collect stamps? Maybe most of the time, what I type is probably garbage. Trust me, this time it's for real. You have to try it yourself. Go ahead. I dare you. Try not to think of purple monkeys :))

2010-06-08T19:44:00.004+08:00

Hey, remember when I was all down for not being chosen in the debate team? Well, I was right all along. Something better would come out. There's a blessing behind everything. The Quran speaks only the truth. Guess what happened to me? The teacher picked me to go to an International Star Gazing and Space Camp. Not only was it International, I got to meet Dr. Sheikh Muszaphar! My Idol for the last three years! He is so tall and charming. He is charming. The way he carries himself around is just amazing. I wish I can be just like him. I recorded videos of him. Woohoo. I can't believe I got to meet him. It's almost like a dream. Haah!

I met many new friends there, but mostly they're all sixteen or seventeen and male. Yeah, most people who came was from the G.U.Y species. That wasn't at all surprising since building rockets are always a male-ish thing to do. The Space Camp was in SMS Kepala Batas, I thought we were going there with a ferry, which would be incredible, with the never ending flow of wind, the ocean and clouds and everything. Turned out, Kepala Batas was in Seberang Perai (or Province Wellesly, if you aced in Sejarah), so no ferry. Just dirty, old road and polluted air filled with poisonous, fatal, carbon monoxide and black soot. I enjoyed the trip anyway. I love long journeys. Maybe that's because I wasn't driving. Haha. Poor drivers. They can't enjoy deep sleep in the coldest place in Peninsular Malaysia ; cars with air-conds!

2010-04-29T15:12:00.005+08:00

I'm so bored, I could die. I have been doing nothing but sit around, watching movie trailers on YouTube. I wanted to study, but my home is just not condusive for learning. It's full of diversions! Especially the TV. I felt like smashing the TV screen with a brick, but I'd never do that because I wanted to watch Glee. Now that Merlin is over, which is really devastating, I'm watching Glee. Ooh, I adore Finn's voice. And Will's too :) I've come across this awesome guy in YouTube, who sings Aladin's A Whole New World. Woww, his voice is so superb, I bet Simon would have loved him. His name is Nick Pitera. He sang both the guy and the girl part, which is amazing because he could switch from tenor to soprano, or is it bass and alto? Who cares, right? The point is, that guy is amazing!

I haven't gotten over the fact that I was not choosen to represent my school in the debate team. To my despair, we're only allowed to send one team to the competition this year. Last year, I went as the second team. I thought I'm going to be in the first team, since there's only four of us left, which is perfect! Then, this guy came along. This head prefect who plays cricket in the National Level! The teacher sent him, instead of me. I was so miserable that time. I have been practising every single day in school, and I don't think I deserve that. Ok, so I am 15 and I know I have another two years ahead of me, but I love my team members. Next year, they're not going to be here. They would have graduated and maybe, I pray for them, continue their debate career in universities. I was too sad, I lost count of how many times I cried. You would, if you gave up everything, your energy, your social life, and most importantly your time, your precious little time, for debate practises! Urggh, maybe I'm not at all fit to be a debater. Maybe I just don't have what it takes to debate. My self-esteem went down to 0 percent. Everyone was like, trying to coax me. Thank you so much, guys. It means a lot to me. I know, there must be a blessing behind this. "Verily with every difficulty there is relief." It's in the Quran, and everything in it is true. I really hope I have enough patience to deal with this.

2010-04-28T23:40:00.001+08:00

They say, to love something you detest, you have to believe that you like it. To believe, you have to say, "I love it!" and repeat the same thing over and over again. So here I go,

I love my school!I love my school!I love my school!I love my school!I love my school!I love my school!I love my school!I love my school!I love my school!I love my school!I love my school!I love my school!I love my school!I love my school!I love my school!I love my school!I love my school!I love my school!I love my school!I love my school!

It's not working :((

2010-04-28T14:46:00.000+08:00

"Have I told you about the tension of opposites? he says. The tension of opposites? Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't.
You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.
A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle.Sounds like a wrestling match, I say.
A wrestling match. He laughs. Yes, you could describe life that way.
So which side wins, I ask?
Which side wins? He smiles at me, the crinkled eyes, the crooked teeth.
Love wins. Love always wins."
— Mitch Albom (Tuesdays with Morrie)

2010-04-28T13:31:00.004+08:00

It's been months. I can't believe I haven't blogged for like, days! I'm too busy watching Leonardo DiCaprio on TV. I can't help it, he looks so innocent (i'm talking about the young Leo). I read books, as usual. I had just finished reading this action packed book, which is not the kind of books I normally read. a friend of mine lend it to me. It wasn't so bad, after all. I guess sometimes we just have to explore new things. They may be not as horrible as we think. All this while, I was too afraid too venture out of my coccoon. How can caterpillars turn to butterflies if they don't break out of their yucky green shell? I'm being like, overly emotional these days. I sat alone, thinking of ridiculous stuffs, stuffs which you might not care about. I felt so lonely at home. I have no one to talk to. It's all my fault since i ditched all my friends and never text them. Ever. I was selfish and cared only for my miseries, which kept growing because I've been paying them so much attention. I should've ignored them at the first place. This is stupid. Talking to people in the internet. Not you, of course. I'm the stupid one. I can't explain loneliness. I can barely recognise it. I'm only suggesting that I might be lonely. It's not like I know for sure. I'm undecided.

2010-02-20T23:49:00.001+08:00

A Muslim Girl’s Guide For Dealing With Guys

(From one Sister To Another)

Life is full of crazy obstacles, but the one that will probably bug you the most and always be getting in the way is the opposite gender. Here, from one sister to another, is a Muslim girl’s guide for how to deal with guys.

No Touching! Muslims are forbidden to touch any non-Mahram (Mahram is your dad, brothers, father-in-law, husbands, grandfathers, and the siblings of your parents) person of the opposite gender. That means no patting on the back, no hand shaking, no pushing, no shoving, no holding hands, and obviously no kissing and all that. If you’re in a difficult situation where you think someone will try to shake your hand, the best thing to do is just smile and say, "My people don’t shake hands" and then explain why. And why, is because we believe a woman’s touch is a privilege and she doesn’t just share it with anyone.

No Flirting! Not even with Muslims, not even in an Islamic school, especially not in a masjid! Flirting means that you’re saying or doing things on purpose that make the other person attracted to you. There’s no set criterion for what flirting is, but any girl knows what is and how to do it.

Muslim women are supposed to behave better than the average woman, who has to be beautiful for all the men around her all the time, who are trapped behind their looks and only judge themselves to be worthy if half the men they know are in love with them. A wise dude once said, "Don’t start the mower unless you intend to cut the grass". If you don’t want a guy’s advances, then don’t do anything to earn them. There’s no point in throwing yourself all over guys and trying to seduce half the world. You really only want to marry one guy, and you want to spend the rest of your life with him, and chances are he isn’t going to be some dork you fluttered your eyelashes at in high school.

No Boyfriends! As a Muslim, you know that having a boyfriend is haraam because it counts as Zina - fornication. Fornication, in easy English, means ‘sexual sin’. Allah expressly forbids romantic or sexual relationships outside of marriage. When people go against that rule, then you get the typical western society where people play sexual merry-go-round with each other, giving each other STDs, using and abusing each other, and destroying the sacredness of marriage as an institution. You can’t even be sort of engaged to a guy, and then "date" to get to know each other. In Islam, non-Mahram men and women aren’t allowed to be alone together (that includes talking on the phone!), to touch (not even shake hands), or even gaze at each other. It doesn’t matter if the guy you like is Muslim, a great guy and the Prince of England, you can’t date him.

No Boy—friends! The easiest way to ensure that you don’t end up falling in love with some guy before you’re ready to get married is to avoid making friends with boys. Of course in school you have to interact with boys all over the place, but that doesn’t mean you should be best buds with them. Probably 90% of relationships begin from friendships. Chances are you’re not ready for marriage, your parents aren’t ready to let you get married, you’re still in school and your crush is not the sort of fellow you want to spend the rest of your life with, so just avoid being friends with him in the first place. It really is the best formula for saving yourself from needless temptation.

When you have to talk to boys in school as teammates, lab partners, group members, and peers, it's best to maintain a distance. That means that you don’t confide in them, you don’t let down your guard, you don’t unnecessarily engage them in needless conversation, don’t joke around, and never flirt. Yeah it may be a little hard, but this is your afterlife we’re talking about. So many great sisters have put themselves in really sticky situations because they allowed a boy to get to know them, and either ended up liking the boy, or having the boy like them. once that happens you either end up becoming a pair (which is HARAAM!), or having to end your friendship. Instead of letting it get to that point, and then having to kill a friendship that you probably worked hard on cultivating, you should just stop it before it begins. There are plenty of great girls all around who can be your friends and if you really think only a guy will understand your problem, then talk to your REAL brother, or your father, or an uncle.

No Talking on the Phone with Boys! In Islam its forbidden for non-related guys and girls to be alone together because there is the chance for physical zina, vocal zina, and zina of the eyes. That means, with no one there to watch you guys except that boogery shaitaan, then you might be tempted to actually DO something, or say gross things, or just stare at each other all lustily. With that in mind, it’s also a safe bet to assume that talking on the phone with non-Mahram guys is a no-no too. Why? Because unless you’ve both got it on speaker-phone and you’re chaperoned by a responsible person, then you’re still kind of "alone" with him. The people in your house can’t hear what he’s saying to you, and his family can’t hear what you’re saying to him. There’s a chance for some bad stuff then, so just avoid it. Not to mention, having some dude saying things into your ear that no one else can hear would be gross in real life, why is it okay for him to talk into your ear via the telephone? For the most part it’s just too intimate.

Be Disaffected! What does that mean? Disaffected means un-affect-able. That means that nothing a dude can say can hit your nerves, make you blush, or get a reaction out of you. It also means that you are uninterested in what they do as well. Imagine yourself being in an airplane looking down on the scenery below. You’re a little interested in what’s going on down there, and it may look really nice, but you know that to get to the scenery you have to jump off the plane. Like the scenery miles below you, the guy may look really nice, but you know that to get him you have to jump off the plane ...errr...commit spiritual suicide, and though the fall may be fun, you will eventually hit the ground 600 meters below and go -splat– on Judgment Day. Maybe even sooner.

Short of becoming an ice-princess, being disaffected involves putting up a mental wall between you and all of male-kind. They don’t know your thoughts and you don’t care for theirs. You can interact with guys at school within the bounds of Islam, but always maintain a formal distance. Don’t ask a guy how his infected toe is doing. Don’t give him a hug when he looks down. Don’t offer to help him with his homework. Don’t go out of your way to remind him that you exist, and that you’re not half bad looking. Even if you don’t feel like behaving, make yourself behave anyway, your afterlife is important enough to discipline yourself for.

The safest philosophy when dealing with guys is remembering this "He’s not what I want, so why should I do anything to make him interested in me? That’ll just make for a painfully awkward situation and it’s not worth the sin anyhow."

Remember that you’re always being watched! Would you act all giggly and stupid with boys if the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) could see you? No, right? Because you’d feel like an ungrateful idiot for disregarding the religion that Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) took so much pain for just to deliver to you. Well, imagine how ungrateful it is to act like a supreme idiot when Allah can see you all the time, and it’s really stupid to disregard the religion that Allah prescribed, the favors He’s bestowed upon you. How dumb is it to take the eyes that Allah gave you and do things with them that He told you not to? (like goggle at boys?) How much stupider is it that He can see you doing this, and you know it!

You have no secrets! Not because Big Brother (whoever that is…) is watching you, but because every single thing you ever did will become public domain on the Day of Judgment, and you’ll be brought to trial to defend what you did. Just don’t do anything that you wouldn’t want your parents, your siblings, your teachers, your friends, and the whole world to know about, ok?

(copied from www.turntoislam.com)

2010-02-17T13:24:00.002+08:00

hahahahahahaha :D something happened last night. something that has me floating in the galaxy. (woww. the first woman to float in the galaxy. gee. how cool is that?)

i watched Merlin on Hallmark :)

yeah, that's what happened last night. gosh, i didn't know guys like Merlin, like Arthur exist on Earth. they're usually like mere fantasy. haha. i'm way over the top. i know. sorry. i'm just fanatic. i wanted to watch more on youtube, but the video keeps getting stuck at certain parts. it's excruciating, having to wait for almost half an hour for the pleasure of watching only ten minutes of the video. i wish i have enough cash to buy the dvd for the whole episodes!

2010-01-31T10:33:00.003+08:00

NO! Time's up! No more mum's cooking. No more Merlin on Hallmark. No more speakers at midnight. And worse, no more sleeping at 1 in the morning! I'm going back, back, back. Back to the land of horrors and nightmares. Back to where I don't belong. It's like fitting a square into a circle with the same length of side and diameter. Oh, just in case you're wondering, the formula for the area of circle is pie(as in 22 over 7) times radius times radius. You do the maths. I won't calculate in times of desperation and worries. I think I'm going to faint at the thought of Mathematics. Gosh, I'm seeing numbers everywhere! Why is that? I see a 7 dancing, sticking out its tounge at me, all the while jumping up and down like a three year old kid. Why are you doing this to me? You're my favourite number! I was born on July for crying out loud! On the SEVENteenth day!

2010-01-31T01:15:00.007+08:00

Nothing much to say. I was surprised by my accomplishments for the last few days. I can run! Gosh, I can't believe it!

I know what people must be thinking - Gila ke budak ni? Semua orang boleh lari kut. Duh- Well, I have always been different, even when it comes to running a few kilometers. I was such a loser before. I couldn't even finish a 400 meters track. I almost fainted halfway and had to walk across the fields, back to the pavilion, where people stood there, staring - some of them laughing- at the loser I am. But this is the past, my dear people. Now is here and now is where I'm standing. I had actually finished the cross country which took me on a fatiguing journey for six kilometers! And that's not even the best part. I did not stop to rest all the way back to school. However, I didn't actually ran. What I did was half ran -almost like slow jogging- all the way. Actually, I didn't find it at all tormenting like my friends had described it earlier. I find it very challenging and spirit lifting. Trust me, F-U-N is not the word that people would use to describe cross country.

I can't describe the feelings. I was breathing really hard, almost panting while running, and thinking about my new goal, that is to reach the school before the time was up. The marks were given for the firsts twenty and people who reaches ten minutes after the twentieth runner. After the ten minutes were over, no marks will be given. Which means, you wasted your time, energy and hopes! I don't want that, so I keep repeating sentences like, 'Don't let them laugh at you, don't let them laugh you". The next thing I know, there's a huge building with an "SBPISB" written on it.

2010-01-16T15:24:00.004+08:00

I only have five minutes left. I don't have enough time to blog these days! I am so very sorry to everyone, especially my blog readers. Though I doubt that the number reaches to even five, I really care about them. The time's almost up. I'm using a computer in the CC in my school. That's all I guess. Haha. Just wanna put some new stuffs in here.

2010-01-09T14:28:00.002+08:00

Gosh, I can't believe I'll be the one to say this but, I love my school! I have no idea what came over me these past few days. I guess the changes they made just pleases me. I was quite satisfied with this whole new changes they're doing. It's like, a whole new world for me! Ookay, I may be exaggerating a bit here. My point is, I wasn't at all please with this school for the last two years due to some inconveniences it caused me, which I'd rather you not know about them. Who knows, maybe I'll get branded for condemning my own school in Blogspot. So, no, I won't explain in further details. What I want to say here is that, I'm happier now. I no longer feel like living in glass jars, where you could see everything before you, but not reach out to them. I'm doing fine now. I'm just a bit busy with so many plans for activities which are not at all decided. I think PMR is just a three letter word to intimidate fifteen year old kids. If my theory is correct, then the plan had worked for my friends, who have never before be seen with a book, is suddenly staying up late at night reading History textbooks! PMR is deemed to be the most important thing in every fifteen yeared olds in Malaysia. Even you should agree with that.

2009-12-31T22:13:00.002+08:00

Goodbye 2009 and hello 2010! I'm really gonna miss you, 2009. OK, that didn't go well, did it? Emm, what I'm trying to say is that this year has given me a lot to think of, a lot to improve from and a lot to learn from. I had my ups and downs throughout the year. Woww, I didn't realize saying goodbye to a 2009 can be so saddening. I am ready to undertake 2010 despite the torments and afflictions it is sure to bring. I know I'm being overly pessimistic, but it's nothing I can help of. Hello new year, give me a new life :)

May Allah bless you in this hopeful day :D

2009-12-27T01:03:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, I just need someone to talk to. Sometimes, I feel so microscopic in this massive, green and blue sphere, with swirling white clouds as rooftops. Sometimes, my voice is inaudible even to the Border's Bookstore assistant, who doesn't seem to know whether Eldest is available or already been put off rack, which to my disappointment, I found out that the latter is true. Sometimes, I just can't endure the pain of holding everything inside me, like I'm an overloaded lift with the overload sign beeping, but unfortunately no one inside is sensible enough to get out.

Why, oh, why does these things keep happening to me? I know exactly why. The blaming finger seems to be pointing at my chest. Yet, there is nothing I can do, except stare helplessly at the blank pages before my eyes which is blocking my life. In my hands, I can see no pen to fill the blank pages and move on to the next pages after the writings are done.

2009-12-27T00:30:00.000+08:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

2009-12-25T21:10:00.002+08:00

I don't know, okay! I just don't know. What is wrong with me? God, help me. I'm really confused and I feel like a worm, trying to find its way out of the green yucky cocoon. Caterpillar. Whatever. I have completely no control over my emotions. It seems like they were the ones in charge. I can do better than this. I just.. I don't know. I'm always mad and sad. (Hey,that rhymes!) I always wear this straight, poker faced expression on my face. I don't know. It's just that, I don't feel like laughing or chatting or just smiling. I just.. I DON'T KNOW!!

2009-12-24T18:38:00.003+08:00

He's right. We don't deserve to be treated like that. I have every right to be friends with whoever I choose. It doesn't matter if the person I choose happens to have no fingers and eats with his feet because we are all humans being, sharing a massive planet together. This planet will not be blessed by fortunes of harmony if we are lacking in rational senses. Hello people, are you hearing me?

What is in their minds these days? I can't stand people bitching around like there's nothing else worth doing in this gigantic world of everything-comes-with-a-price-tag. Why don't they just mind their own business and leave me in the solitude I'm compelled of having? Urghh. Sometimes, people are just hard to please.

2009-12-24T18:16:00.003+08:00

I got a ticket out. Out of the world that has brought me nothing but distress and torment. Soon, I'll be out of all this ruthless cruelty of life which has the goal of taking me to road's end. I'll be deriving pure pleasure from this mere decision I choose to take. Goodbye my dear friends and rejoice for I did not choose to leave you out of abhorrence. I did that for the sake of myself since I am a selfish, negligent, defiant person who loves to please herself :)

I'm not going to kill myself, if that's what you're thinking. There's something else in my mind which I'd rather not share until the real decision has been made. Whether this turns out well or not, once the final call is made, there's no turning back.

I have my fingers crossed ;)

2009-12-24T17:39:00.003+08:00

I have been suffering. Urghh. The pressure inside my head is building up every single day of every day. I can't stop the pain. Straight through my head. Haha. I love them, Bsb! I hear their songs whenever I feel heavy in the head. Usually music brings solace in the mind, but bsb's does the exact contrary. They don't keep me serene, they make me sing along at the top of my voice, drowning my room with non stop bsb's!!

Straight through my heart, She aimed and she shot me, I just can't believe it. No,I can't resist, and I can't be hit, I just can't escape this love :)

2009-12-24T17:19:00.009+08:00

Good day, peeps! Now that is less psychotic :) Don't believe everything you read though. They may be true, they may be not. I think I'm not really good in the expressing part. I can't really express myself orally. That's why I think blogs are the perfect way for people like myself to let everything out. I also wrote poems which is strictly prohibited from my family. I'd never let them read it. Not even if you threaten to put a bullet through my head. Not that you'd actually do it - I know that you are all innocent living creatures (in case animals are reading blogs too).

I love reading so much. I read all sorts of books. Mostly English. I don't hate Malays, but I just love English more. I'm so sorry. I know that I'm a Malaysian and Malaysians are supposed to make their mother languange as a priority and everything, but I just can't. I've fallen in love with this language and love is blind :)

the one place

Food I Can Never Forget.

Favourite Chapter in My 2011 Book

School!

Precious People :)

Because I watch TV,

Quaint

I Love Addmaths

Contented

Strangers

Homer, I like

The lemon that turns sweet :)

Reality check

Touch the Rainbow

Adam Young

I Wanna Break Free!!

Foul is Fair and Fair is Foul

Something to think of :)

Quizzies!

I am not a literal person, I'm just saying.

The Nothingness Of Nothing

If you're happy and you know it..

What if the what if's are real?

Gravity loves me

Threes

Free Happiness

Is This Really Possible?

One Stormy Day,

I am number four :)

Ape lagi?

Devastating for those with hearts

Tee Hee :)

School of humans.

The impossibles that are possible.

Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini

The People In My School Life

Hello there!

Frankly,

Corny, I know.

It's Finallly Over!

For Those Who Actually Care (:

Suicide.

No title.

Khalid Ibn al-Walid

Looks Fun :)

Blogger.com

♥ ♥ ♥

More Untitled Post .

Bieber.

Untitled. (again)

Three Things I've Learned Today.

My English Class.

William Shakespeare.

Untitled

Hospitals

Dreams

My Days As A Failure

10 Reasons I Change My Blog Template

Hahaha

An Exhausting Day

Pretend

A Dream I Had

Pessimistic or Just True.

Say

You Don't Have To Read This

Thought Of The Day

Hello

Zia Ul-Ikmal

there goes my worries.

Earth is a happy place.

goodness.